The Two Auntees

The Friends of Jake: Same sex blessings in church-- where does your par...

2012-01-31T19:11:00.000-08:00

The Friends of Jake: Same sex blessings in church-- where does your par...: From St Paul's Fayetteville AR, how the conversation began. You can read more about their process and the resources they used for the conve...

Maybe Another First?

2012-01-31T18:56:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday, I learned that I would be a delegate at the Georgia Diocesan Convention which starts tomorrow. As a voting delegate, I believe that I will be/could be the first Trans Woman delegate in our history. It will be interesting to learn what lies ahead of me during these next three days. As I am also an Exhibitor for the Integrity Table and will be pressing our cause of equality at the Table, I should be very busy. Stay Tuned folks!

Beginning The Conversation

2012-01-27T18:12:00.000-08:00

http://youtu.be/AIw2BCDA2Yw

Moments for Education

2012-01-25T07:51:00.000-08:00

Moments taken to educate people can be found every day. Take yesterday, I had two medical appointments. My first appointment was to have my annual Mammogram; which is always an exciting and gripping moment in time. Short burst of flashes of one life floods one brain as your boob is squashed between two plates and you are standing on tip toes hoping against hope that you don't slip. Glad that only do one side, (Breast Cancer and all).

My next appointment was with my endocrinologist; again for my regular checkup appointment. As sometime happens, there was a Nursing Student shadowing the doctor that day to observe and learn. Well, I just couldn't let this opportunity slip away without making her aware of the different sort of patients she could be responsible for during her future nursing career. So I pointedly asked the student if she might know my story and she said "No!", so my Dr said that she needed to stay in the room and hear my story because it was a good one and one that she needed to be exposed to; (absolutely love this Man as my Endo). As she had no experience with transsexuals I gave her a short version of my story. Stressing how I came to be a Breast Cancer survivor and the dire need for her to give good medical care and treatment for all her patiences who transition. And I stressed our concerns for finding good healthcare professional who will treat all people with respect. When I finished, she had kept a stoic face and I thanked her for listening. I introduced myself and shook hands and we left the exam room.

Yesterday was a good day for teaching!

Corporate Greed

2012-01-23T06:51:00.000-08:00

We must stand with the people of the US and fight to reverse this destructive decision that Corporations are the same as US Citizens ie People. That's wrong!

Anderson Cooper

2012-01-16T07:42:00.001-08:00

http://youtu.be/Y5rod9VQydw

How One Governor Changed Her Mind On Gay Rights

2012-01-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

These are powerful reason to change laws.

How One Governor Changed Her Mind On Gay Rights

Family and Christmas Cheer

2011-12-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, these might not be the usual Christmas Stockings, but these are what we used, Kay used the 'tights' for me and I filled a 'boot' for her stuffers and the plants were as close to 'greenery' that we had on hand. Now it is unusual for us Not to put up our Usual Christmas decorations, but as we were so busy, time slipped away from us and before we knew it, it's a few days before.

It's just that we were both so busy with so much coming and going that in the evening or weekends we were involved with other things. Kay had told me that 'she wanted gifts to open' and since we didn't drag out the tree, we needed something to put our stocking stuffers in, so we improvised.

Trinity's older sisters would be staying with them during the holidays so we tried to make the most of their visit. Actually her oldest sister, Crystal, is going full time to VSU and the other sister, Michelle, is a Captain in the Army stationed in Germany. We all had dinner on Christmas Eve where we shared the table with Trinny's grandparents and uncle and of course her other grandmothers, MeMaw and BG and then we opened gifts. It has been a long time since we watched children or grandchildren open Christmas presents together. Colleen knitted Kay a Grandmother's Shawl with colored yarn for each grandchild's birth month, and she gave me a beautiful scarf with a pin.

I wanted so much for my daughter to meet Crystal and Michelle, and since "M" was leaving today, we arranged for lunch for everyone yesterday. Julie was running errands but said she would drop by with her boy friend and everyone else came over for a bowl of beef soup and salad. I think the older daughter's had a great time getting to know each other and had a lot in common and the boy friend was a delight with his stories and jokes.

I think we have put too much stock into doing the "Currier and Ives, or Rockwell's Christmas" scenes, where a large family is gathered around a table with a huge turkey and the table is laden with heaping bowls of food. There are many people who never have that "Christmas Dinner" as we might look down on them as lacking or not deserving or so many other wrong ideas of them. That's just wrong, too wrong. Because so many of our holiday experience is having to keep our tongues quiet, and to endure Uncle "Joe" bigoted mouth, or our drunken relative who put everyone down, or those who scorn the 'black sheep' who might be gay or trans and are shunned for so many concocted reasons.

And so I will say out loud that I love the family that has chosen us, that family who gathered around our table of love yesterday knows and loves us for the people we are. The Two Aunties who are now Grandmothers for so many wonderful and loving children, because they have parents who make sure their children will accept people for who they are.

What do I do?

2011-12-23T05:55:00.000-08:00

I have noticed that my post are on a downward slope this year as to it's numbers, and am thinking what does that mean for me? Looking at the content of some, it also contains more political and expressions of my transition issues.

Don't get me wrong here, as my last post suggests that when issues of family take the front seat in my life and we have a better connection, that is good. It's just that my transition is old news; it's already happen, and without the world of the internet looking in on it. As I transitioned, I didn't know about blogging, or the internet and what it could and would do for me as a trans woman.

I put all my thought down in my Personal Diary Log, if you will. A diary filled with my reactions, personal sadness and joys that I encountered daily. The static telling of my first day discovering secrets of makeup and dressing, my first Make-0ver, the terror of being caught dressed by my children, the joys of sharing a day as Sarah with a dear friend. The factually telling of finding a doctor to prescribe hormones and what I had to do to get medically cleared to get them. The joys of finding Love and our eventual Wedding attended by close family and good friends. The fear and horror of discovering that I had Breast Cancer and my long process of recovery and the pain for the loss of my long awaited symbol of femaleness, the breast.

These personal words can be found in my personal log, disconnected and void of any outside readings or chosen comments by nonexistent readers. You can go back and read my first comment for yourself from February, 19, 2008, that's almost 2 years after my mastectomy and well into my transition, void of any hormones.

There are so many ways that my life has dramatically changed for the better, and not I am just being who I am; living my life to the fullest and loving how it keeps changing. Kay and I keep saying that knowing how things have gotten better within my family, could never have been predicted. So when we pray, we abstain from asking for specifics; we just seek his help and watch where he takes us; takes us to places we never dreamed could happen. And for that, we are Thankful.

My Daughter's Christmas Gift.

2011-12-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

We all remember with much fondness the many treasured gifts loving given to us by our children. On those many birthday’s and wonderful Christmas’ morning’s madness when we are roused out of our beds, eyes heavy with sleep from the long night of wrapping last minute gifts by shouts of excitement. We watch our children’s joy and endure the shouts of gladness as they scramble to find their treasured Christmas’s gifts. Our own faces exaggerate our surprise and happiness as they give us our Christmas’s packages they might have picked our and wrapped, with the help of someone when they were younger.

Of course we are constantly overjoyed to experience their own success of their lives and share tears with them when things go wrong. We try to encourage and be engaged with them as they learn life’s lessons, what ever those lessons might be for the both of us. There are a few gift’s that my children have given me that can’t not be procured by monetary means, some are priced beyond actual value.

And so it is with my daughter’s most recent gift to me and her step-mother. She has given us a way to negotiate the healing among the family; for me her ‘father’, her Mother, her Step-mother and hopefully her brothers in due time.

The other morning Kay and I accompanied a friend to the local Cancer Center for the first Chemo treatment, as they didn’t have family who lived close enough. As we were waiting in the open seating area to be seen by the doctor, my ex-wife arrived for her regular appointment and we said our hello’s. I thought that was quite a coincidence to see her. Between our friends doctor appointment and his treatment, my ex had finished her appointment and she stopped to chat. As she mentioned that my sister would be arriving soon for her regular appointment, she checked herself in and sat down with us. And so we introduced everyone to our friend and chatted about things, about time long ago, when my sister and I lived in Japan as kids. She went on to describe the earthquakes and typhoons we had to endure and some of the damages and discoveries with the aftermaths. Everyone was quite chatty until my ex had to leave to get back to her school job and my sister left for her appointment.

I believe that this encounter among the four of us only happened because of my daughter’s intervention. The fact that the encounter was so casual and delightful I give full credit to my daughter’s sincere efforts to bring the family back together. It has been because of her insistence to reconnect with me and bring a mature understanding that I had to transition; that I am and have always been the same throughout my life. That I have treated my wife and children with compassion and love; as both ‘John’ and Sarah. That I am a much happier person as Sarah and can hold my head high with pride. So, I thank you, my daughter, from the bottom of my heart for this most wonderful Christmas gift ever!!

In Defense of Affirming Christians

2011-12-08T06:27:00.000-08:00

In Defense of Affirming Christians

Having just read parts of Hilary's speech this seem to have the greatest emphasis for respect and Religious acceptance:

but a portion of Hilary Clinton's address to the U.N. seems appropriate here:

The third, and perhaps most challenging, issue arises when people cite religious or cultural values as a reason to violate or not to protect the human rights of LGBT citizens. This is not unlike the justification offered for violent practices towards women like honor killings, widow burning, or female genital mutilation. Some people still defend those practices as part of a cultural tradition. But violence toward women isn't cultural; it's criminal. Likewise with slavery, what was once justified as sanctioned by God is now properly reviled as an unconscionable violation of human rights.
In each of these cases, we came to learn that no practice or tradition trumps the human rights that belong to all of us. And this holds true for inflicting violence on LGBT people, criminalizing their status or behavior, expelling them from their families and communities, or tacitly or explicitly accepting their killing.
Of course, it bears noting that rarely are cultural and religious traditions and teachings actually in conflict with the protection of human rights. Indeed, our religion and our culture are sources of compassion and inspiration toward our fellow human beings. It was not only those who've justified slavery who leaned on religion, it was also those who sought to abolish it. And let us keep in mind that our commitments to protect the freedom of religion and to defend the dignity of LGBT people emanate from a common source. For many of us, religious belief and practice is a vital source of meaning and identity, and fundamental to who we are as people. And likewise, for most of us, the bonds of love and family that we forge are also vital sources of meaning and identity. And caring for others is an expression of what it means to be fully human. It is because the human experience is universal that human rights are universal and cut across all religions and cultures.

We all have a role to play in securing equality. I, for one, appreciate the role affirming Christians are playing and will play. The least we could do is to say, "I've got your back."

The Warning From A Congresswoman That Every American Should See

2011-12-07T13:35:00.000-08:00

The Warning From A Congresswoman That Every American Should See

We knew this was their tactic for controlling Congress and throwing America down the Toilet!

From the Travels of the Two Auntees

2011-11-21T05:52:00.000-08:00

This is a view of Thomas Jefferson's house at Monticello, VA. There are some great gadgets and antiques and a great display of objects that he was given by Lewis and Clark from their travels as they explored the West in the great waiting room.

This picture was taken in the courtyard area of the Brandywine River Museum, in Chadds Ford, Pa. Someone told us when we were in Delaware that it would be a short trip to see the home of Andrew Wyeth's home in Chadds Ford, and we are always up for an adventure. I realized later that I didn't take any pictures of his home or the studio that was built by his father, N. C. Wyeth. I did not know about NC Wyeth. As a premier artist and teacher he would gather the actual items to paint for his pictures; costumes, busts, pistons, rifles, farm implements and tools. He even bought a birchbark canoe from the indians and has it shipped back by train for just one of his pictures. He traveled to the west to live the life of a 'cowboy' and paint them. He brought back western 'cowboy' clothing to add his collection. N C painted the original illustrations for "Treasure Island" and was paid $2000 in 1911 by which he bought the land where his studio and house sits. Those paintings measuring at least 4 ft by 5 ft are hanging in the Brandywine Museum down the hill from his house.

I just had to go back and visit once again the Navy's School of Music, located at the Naval Amphibious Base at Little Creek, VA. This was where I had to go after my basic Army training as well as my Advanced training for Group Leaders and First Sergeants Courses. Going back into the building was a little weird. But they have some odd instruments of display in the front hallway; like a Bass Saxophone and a Sousaphone that is a woodwind instrument. Didn't want to trespass too far, so I didn't attempt to walk the hall to the classrooms. We didn't spend too much time at the school as I wanted to take Kay to the beach at Cape Henry, and view the light houses on Fort Story, which is an Army Base near VA beach.

This is my backside as I was looking for shells and other odd bits that we collected. We even brought back with us a piece of driftwood of fair size. We always feel a need to get close to water sometimes and this was our chance; only one other family on the beach.
This is a picture of the first and oldest light house on Cape Henry, there 191 steps which will take you to the top. But which we didn't climb; too much time and energy as we needed to head north to Delaware.

Overall we had a great trip the weather was very nice and even though it was mid November, the trees still had their canopy of leaves in subdue fall colors. Still very beautiful colors from a late fall season. It was on the last few days that we had rain and even saw some blowing snow for awhile.

Class of '76 reunion

2011-11-14T17:34:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I attended my class reunion of '76 from Winthrop University. Although I didn't know any of the other class members who attended, they were quick to accept and include me in the group. We had a great evening on Friday and then Saturday Morning our class had a group picture made. I was amazed at how relaxed I was during the weekend and how well it all went. I did explain and tell a few people the "Rest of the Story" as it used to be and they all seemed as it didn't matter. I don't know how much they continued to 'talk' after I left saturday night, but the next morning all were very cordial and social with me.

During those 2 years I was in grad school with the music department I was quite busy, enough that I didn't interact with other school activities. I at least want to thank Margaret for making great memories and letting me have a great time during the weekend.

As always, I try to return to my house I lived in when we visit places that I lived; and again I couldn't find the house. Everything has changed soo much over the last 35 years. However, when we took a short trip to the church were I was the Choir Director those many years ago, it was still there; and we drove by the house where my friends live; just up the road from the church.

The Children will lead the Way!

2011-11-07T07:49:00.000-08:00

This young lady stole my heart, thank you Big A, I love you back.

We have been thanked several time this past week for making people laugh. People have commented on our sense of lightness and giggles we have shared over looks, stories, jabs between us. We seem to make other people happy, and that really is kind of them to share those feeling with us. People can see our happiness by the smiles we carry everywhere and that's only because we live open, honest and full lives.

Lately it seems like my biggest supporters come from the children in our lives and I believe that if parents follow their lead, they will bring us, people like me, out into the open. It will be our children who will help us change people's minds and the world we live in.

When we told the member of you church that I was trans and would be attending Church as Sarah, some people's first though was, "What are we going to tell our children?". That was 7 years ago and we can't keep up with the number of children who have touched our lives, or the number of families who have shared a meal with us. To members of our Church we are known as the "Aunties", we watch and care for children, hold them, change diapers, put them to sleep when we are allowed.

A few years ago there were two babies who were getting fussy during the 'coffee hour' after church and since Kay and I had finished eating and the parents seemed to be needing a break, we each took a baby and went to the swing outside for a bit. It wasn't long before the both of them were soon fast asleep in our arms and we were able to lay them down in the cribs in our nursery. As so "the Auntee's" reputation for calming babies grew. And so yesterday a new father had brought his new daughter to church to show her off. After services we were talking and admiring the new one who was getting fussy and so he offered to let someone hold her; so I dropped my purse and held our my arms. She was still a little fussy being held in my arms, so I laid her on my shoulder and she seemed to calm down rather quickly, enough that her dad said that I had the "touch" and I said the Aunties' are know for having the touch.

Lately a young couple, we spent a day together at a park recently, has a young son who thinks the world of me, and it probable is because I listen and got down on his level to play with him. And so they have decided to keep coming to Church. Well it happens that there is an older woman who knew me as John, when she left has returned to town to find that I have transitioned and now see's Sarah, seems she has a problem with me now. The problem came to light when she started talking to this young couple about how she didn't like me now and didn't understand, and she was given both gun barrels, as it were. This older woman was told that their son loves Sarah, and she had best keep her opinions to herself and never speak against me in front of them or their son ever again.

Ya gotta love those who accept us for who we are.

Family Group and Dynamics and Ex-Wives.

2011-10-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

One can’t explain the reasons some thing’s in one’s life happen, we can only articulate the how. I had heard that my brother and his wife would be coming to town for his high school reunion, but as of last Friday I had not heard anything from him. Kay and I had taken a friend to the movies and we met some other friends afterward and so we all went to have pizza together and we had a great time. Saturday morning, Kay and I drove down to Tallahassee to attend a friends wedding.

We have known Margeaux since 03 when I started my transition and had begun to meet regularly with a lgbt group in Tallahassee, it was at the time I needed support the most; so we have stayed friends since. The original group quit meeting as everyone went their own way, and by that time I was well on my way to living as Sarah. Then about two years ago we attended the Pride Festival in Tallahassee and we met up again with Margeaux; she had formed a trans group that met once a month. As it meets during the week, we could only attend occasionally and so when we received the invitation to her wedding, we were thrilled to be included.

Her wedding was at 11 am that Saturday morning and we stayed until they cut their cake. It was so wonderful to reconnect with so many friends we had made in that community that it really felt like a homecoming of one’s extended family. Even saw friends from the first group of so many years ago. To see the joy on the faces of the brides as they looked into each other eye’s with profound happiness and joy was worth the drive. We even met Margeaux’s daughter who stood on her side during the wedding ceremony.

Later that afternoon while we were shopping, I received a call from my ex-wife, of all people, and since I didn’t find my phone in my pocketbook quick enough, I missed her call. I listen to the message she left, which seemed a little frantic, and so I called her back. She was with the rest of my family having taken my mother to lunch and wanted to know if I knew my brother Bill was in town. I told her no, he had not called or sent an e-mail to let me know his plans; so she said; “Do you want to talk to him?”, I said yes, so she gives her phone to my brother. I think he was surprised when he realized that he was talking to me and didn’t or hadn’t thought of calling me first. Well, because of our evening plans and the fact that we were not in town at the moment, we arranged to get together at the airport before their plane left on Sunday afternoon.

We were not sure just how our meeting was going to go that afternoon, so we had agreed that if the discussion became heated and aggressive we would just walk away. And so we were a little anxious as we walked through the double doors to the waiting room at the airport. I saw my brother, Bill first, and could see that he was watching a sports program on TV with his brother-in-law; Bobbie, his wife, and her sister were sitting across the small room just talking together when Kay and I walked in. Bill was the first to greet me and hugged me, but Bobbie gave me a big hug and was a little surprised at the way I looked (I had brushed my hair and put a dab of perfume and lipstick on for the occasion). After I introduced Kay to everyone, we sat together in a row of seats, so Bill sat between Kay and I, as I sat next to Bobbie. Bill was turned talking to Kay, so I turned and began talking to Bobbie and her sister about grandchildren and how her family was doing and how they had a good chat with my daughter and son. It was a pleasant afternoon, catching up on everyone’s lives. But all too soon they were called to board their return flight to Nebraska. So we parted after some very warm and sincere hugs and thank you’s and let them say their goodbye’s to their family.

I would never in a hundred years believe that my relationship with my ex, my daughter, my sister and my brother was because they were urged by my ex-wife to open up to me, but it has happened. Kay and I pray that relationships with family will get better, but we never exactly know the scope or depth prayers can reach.

I really don’t think Bill would have ever talked to me this weekend if my ex had not shoved her phone into his face Saturday afternoon, and I am telling everyone that I am truly grateful for all that she had done for the families. But I now believe that because Bobbie has gotten to know me in those few minutes she might become a great ally not only for me but for others and her friends.

Peace and Love Everyone!

This Powerful Clip Is Exactly Why We Support #OccupyWallStreet

2011-10-26T05:38:00.000-07:00

This Powerful Clip Is Exactly Why We Support #OccupyWallStreet

Please watch and forward this powerful explanation!!!

Affirming Spirituality

2011-10-25T05:47:00.000-07:00

The Episcopal Church has a great tradition of receiving, welcoming and recognizing new converts the this Body of Christ. I know because I have been a part of this Church for a long time; I am not a cradle Episcopalian, but I believe that I have been a strong and active member since I joined in '94. But my life has taken a drastic new direction and the person who joined so many years ago is now legally known as Sarah. Unfortunately, I was told that Sarah was not recognized by my church, but I am writing on a new page now that I have been officially recognized and Acknowledged to be Sarah.

Two Sunday's ago was the Church's recognition of Sarah, which has taken over a year to come to fruition. With our new Bishop's previous visit, I had asked our Vicar to get his approval to Re-Affirmed me as Sarah. And as talks go, there was a breakdown in communication and my Re-Affirmation didn't happen for me that year. So fast forward to Sunday and the return visit with the current Bishop.

After 4 weeks of receiving our Vicar's own teaching instruction's for new Communicants I was Re-Affirmed as Sarah in the Episcopal Church. Her class was more like a Bible Study and Bible Passages to be memorized, than discussing the differences which make the Episcopal Church so welcoming and accepting, which should have been the first discussions.

To be recognized as Sarah by my church is something that I needed to do since I transitioned and let go of the 'Old Person of John'. Ever since I transition, I have felt the great need for my church to recognize and affirm this Sarah person as a member of the Church since 'John' didn't exist anymore.

If there is a lesson to be learned, it is that Communicants who transition should be more proactive in seeking the acknowledgement by Church's and from their Church leaders. Also Priest's and Vicar's should know their flock and ask when those who transition are ready for re-affirmation. We all need to be recognized as the person we are or have become by our church.

Celebrating Community Inclusive of All

2011-10-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

Kay and I celebrated the 10 Anniversary of Integrity Georgia at St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Savannah, Georgia this past weekend. We were able to meet and engage in delightful conversation with Harry Crew, the Founder of Integrity and Earnest, his husband of many years. Please take time to watch it on the internet.

Integrity Georgia Celebrates 10th Anniversary

If you missed the Tenth Anniversary Celebration, you can watch it on ustream.

I was the first reader and both Kay and I took the gifts to the alter. As one of 2 trans women at the service, it was a great honor to be included in the service, and be as visible as I was.

Integrity Broadcast

2011-10-08T06:03:00.000-07:00

For those interested, the 10 Anniversary for Integrity Georgia which happen today at 1130 Eastern time at St. Paul's Episcopal Church here is the internet link for the live simulcast.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/IntegrityGA

Sexuality and Religion: What's the Connection?: Speak Out for LGBT Youth

2011-10-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

Sexuality and Religion: What's the Connection?: Speak Out for LGBT Youth

Guest for the Week, and Loving it!!!

2011-10-03T06:31:00.000-07:00

For the past 5 days we have been watching our Granddaughter, Miss Trinity, a bundle of smiles and mischief; but we love her. It takes the both of us to make sure she stays out of trouble, but when she throws her little 'fit's' all we have to do is put her in a corner until she straightens up. It doesn't take much, but it works.

Don't let that smile and twinkling eyes fool you for one minute, but she can steal your heart. We wouldn't take anything for the joy she has given us these few days. It takes the 2 of us to keep up with her, she doesn't walk anywhere; she runs; constantly. Her energy equals anything we can both muster. But her smiles and hugs that she gives freely is more precious than anything we could find.

We have watched her off and on since she was 5 months so we weren't surprised when she settled is and was all smiles as her parents and brothers got in the car and drove off. She is comfortable with us watching her, which makes the time so much easier to deal with.

We have 3 dogs and Molly, the one with the black patch on her eye is her favorite. Molly loves attention and Trinity is quite willing to oblige. She can do almost anything to her, pull her ears, grab her around the head, pull her tail and use her for a pillow; Molly doesn't mind.

We have Survived and Loving the Time

2011-10-03T05:48:00.000-07:00

For the past 5 days we were given the opportunity, (chance) to watch our granddaughter. It was better that there are the 2 of us cause she can run our old legs off. Miss Trinity is 18 months and is a little spitfire of personality, giving us lots of things to smile about and keeping us very busy. Don't let those playful eyes and smiles fool you, cause there is mischief in there somewhere.

This if the first time we have been able to what her 24/7 and it has been very tiring for the both of us but we wouldn't swap these past few day for anything. She doesn't walk anywhere, she runs! And 'talks' up a storm, we might not understand what she is staying but we know she is emphatic in the telling. We have learned to hear her repeat phrases, more than once to try and get her point across. This quick snapshot was after church but before we changed her and put her down for a nap.

She is really a very good child for 19 months, oh we might have an occasional 'fit' but we have learned that she knows we will put her in the corner to 'cool off' and when she is ready, she can go play again. We have 3 dogs and she LOVEs her Molly, (she is the one with the black patch on her eye). Molly loves attention and Trinity is quite oblidge

Appearance Changes

2011-10-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

In this posting, I am talking about redefining the name of this blog as its purpose seems to be more on moral and political issues that are redefining my need to blog from a different path! I have obviously exited the tunnel and am walking in full sunlight of existence as a woman married to a wonderful wife and partner.

As we crank up our activism by our strong association with PFLAG and Integrity Episcopal Church. And are trying to be more involved in political issues which affect us as members of the lgbt community and as a married couple. Our emphasis is beyond the "Trials of Transition", so to speak. I think it's time to move forward to the next chapter of our wonderful lives. Since that's were we are now.

In looking at the tempo and thoughts of blog comments of the past few months, I am out; I am involved, I am trying to make a difference for others. We are on the other side of our couple transition, the other side of the rainbow, the others side of the rock slide. Our path and duties to the lgbt community are ahead of us ever trudging forward and upwards. Come with us as we explore new horizons and seek new frontiers of lgbtisms.

Do I have suggestions, or should I ask? And what do you think?

Cosmic Changes

2011-10-01T05:33:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year we bought some plants, like the Star Jasmine and the Night Blooming Jasmine. Well last week I noticed some new growth on the night plant and last night as I put the dogs out, I got a whiff of the Jasmine. Wow, the fragrance is quite overpowering, intense and wonderful. When you get close to the plant you are surrounded by this gorgeous, fragrance that would overpower the perfume you can buy at the counter.

Our Chapter of PFLAG is beginning to step up and try to be involved with the community, at our last meeting we showed the movie 'Bullied' and had a University Music Professor show up and a Truancy Officer with her partner in attendance. She had some great information for a student who faces his own daily bullies. I think we need to show it again in the community.

My ex wife had asked us to make her a baby blanket for a niece's new arrival and she came over yesterday to pick it up. We had a nice discussion about how family is doing and it was all pleasant. She had talked with my sister who is taking care of our mother almost full time, my sister asked my ex to ask me if we could watch mother one day a week so they could do yoga. I was floored to say the least. I will say it again, when you pray for things to happen you can be specific cause you just never know how far your prayers can go or take you.

Adagio for Strings (Samuel Barber)

2011-09-22T06:53:00.000-07:00

This is in Memorial for our Melissa Alison Price. 21 September 1948 - 20 August 2011of Virginia who passed quietly on August 20 this year due to Cancer. You can find her post until is goes away at Melissa's Meanderings. Her love of Classical music was apparent by her frequent posting for Symphonic performance by some of the great composers. Her love of her trees and pond was shown in her frequent pictures of the nature that surrounded her.

We will miss her voice and her complains of the harsh winters snow, but we will feel her in the winds as they caress our face when we stand and take in the beauty of our country.

Peace, and Good by Melissa.

Changing Encounter

2011-09-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

Kay and I have begun to meet other people for lunch on Wednesday's at the Student Union where we meet professors, and others from Christ Church Episcopal. The conversations are many and very interesting, no purpose but to meet and chat. We have found this group so socially expanding for us that we keep going back.

Yesterday, after everyone dispersed and we were leaving, we met the Sociology Professor from Japan and she was with the visiting math professor from Poland. As I introduced myself and Kay as my wife, she asked if we could be really married in Georgia, I said yes because I was trans and had not legally changed my name at the time of our wedding. Then she look at me and commented that I looked like a man! I commented, that that's funny because someone else told me that I looked like a woman from the Ukraine.

Kay and I both laughed when we could see her face change when see recognized the similarity in what I just said and she smiled as she laughed at herself. From the perspective of my being from the Ukraine, she saw the 'large woman from the Ukraine', and then told us stories when see met her first trans woman, and watched a girl friend transition to male. She recognized how much happier people with gender variance are once they transition.

We are constantly changing people's minds and attitude whenever I explain my gender status.

Refresh the Memories

2011-09-11T05:23:00.000-07:00

Today is the Anniversary. A day that I know and remember what happen because I watched the events unfold; I will not likely watch, or listen to someone's attempt to use this day to catapult their career.

I will only ask the question. As Jesus was hanging on the cross, there were thieves hanging on each side of him. My question, which thief have you and I become, the one who mocks, or the one who knows the truth.

More Pictures

2011-09-09T06:07:00.000-07:00

Looking back at how we spent our trip, I realize that there were more picture that I should have taken but didn't. We never have an opportunity to have our picture taken together unless we ask and we were to involved to ask. Here are a few more pictures, but of course they are in reverse the last to the first. Of course these are only a few from each day of our excursion across Mid America

A Gun battery at Vicksburg

Painting on the side of a building in eastern Texas,

I wonder if this PASTOR is talking about 'Robin Hood' or the Government! I should have said, "as opposed to tithe and supporting church programs to help poor?"

Dino in front of a Sinclair Gas station.

The Welcome sign for the Pow Wow

Vintage item of the '60's
3 Amigos and a lizard

Eight days of travel is not enough time to see everything, visit every museum or read every historical marker, but one should take the time to go visit important places in the US for you.

Travels with Kay

2011-09-08T06:02:00.000-07:00

This past week Kay and I took an extended trip (2827 miles), partially in respect for the Labor Day Concert at the National Cathedral that didn’t happen and for a continued birthday present for her. All in all, I would say I had a great time; saw many wonderful sights and some of the country I had never been in before. We even discovered, quite by chance, the BB King Museum, learning how he started playing the blues and about his life as an International

Music Ambassador. We found Kermit the Frog’s birth place in Leland, Mississippi, and had our picture taken with the ‘old boy’. Learned that “Kermit” was named after a close boyhood friend.

Crossed into Alabama and the great fields of cotton where it was difficult to see the other edge of the field. Crossed the Mississippi River into Arkansas and spent the night in Hot Springs in the Historic Section of town. The next day we bought a few pieces from the Dryden Pottery factory (opened in1946) and spoke to the present owner and

his son bough a few pieces.

Moving forward, we spent some time in my home town of Mena, Ark., and saw found my family’s church; my grandmothers house and the empty lot where my uncle’s house once was next to my grandmothers.We visited the main park and sat by the old spring that used to quench travelers thirst. All changed, all different. We learned that the Old ruins of the Queen Wilhelmina Hotel has been rebuilt and sits on top of the Ozark Mountain with a grand view of the valley.

Instead of backtracking down to Mena, we forged ahead through the “Winding Stairs” mountains and park, 38 miles riding atop the ridge peering through a blue haze into the hills of Oklahoma.

Discovered the re-Acquired Creek Council House Museum and their history, which is a story in itself. Speaking of the treatment of the American Indian Nations and their peoples.

Found ourselves on a original strip of “Route 66” and wandered around “The Blue Whale” National Landmark. It was at the Cherokee Welcome Center that we learned about the Pow Wow and how Labor Day is also celebrated as their National Holiday, by holding the Pow Wow at their spiritual grounds in Tahlequah, OK.

We left a little early after visiting their quilt show, ruins of their female Seminary School and exhibits of the “trail of tears”. As an observer of their singing and dancing I was moved in some spiritual way. Leaving all to soon to race over to Enid, Ok., to spend the night at Vance AFB as we had made reservations. We saw quite a few Historical Markers on our journey across the USA and back, but the one we did stop for, was the marker for the Oklahoma Land Run of 1889 of the “Cherokee Strip”, starting at 12 noon and by nightfall over 2,000,000 acre tract had been staked and settled.

Well, now it is Sunday and the last day of the Octoberfest in Choctaw, just east of Oklahoma City. We had discovered the two weekend beer fest after the DC Concert as canceled and it was our main reason for the trip. The beer was great, the German Bands were wonderful and I got to play bell with the other kids. Kay knows her way around the web and can find some good hotel room prices; staying at military lodging is a great bargain if you can. As we leftOklahoma City we found ourselves at the Oklahoma City National Memorial Reflecting Pond and grounds. Quite a powerful place for feelings as the timing of our visit was approaching the 10th Anniversary of 9/11.

We saw the tomb and museum for Will Rogers in Oklahoma and learned how he was captivated the American People as was an Ambassador in his own right. But the most frightening scene was as we crossed I 20 into Kilgore, Texas we could see the smoke of the huge fires that are burning across the plains of Texas, destroying crops, homes, livestock. The land is burning up by fires and the two year drought; the animals can’t find enough water to drink or grass to eat. They all lie together in whatever shade they can find.

One thing I learned is that you really can’t go back home; for one thing, your home might not be there. Places and people change. Most of the older folks die and others have moved on, just as you have. Just as I have taken the road ‘less traveled’ and thought I needed to burn my bridges, I know that going back to the place where the two road diverged, one finds two new and very different road. Memories long forgotten are awakened by just looking for them.

We are glad to be home to sleep in our own beds tonight.

Roads not taken or known.

2011-09-06T20:28:00.001-07:00

The Road Not Taken

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

This past week Kay and I took an extended trip, partially in respect for the Labor Day Concert at the National Cathedral that didn’t happen and for a continued birthday present for her. All in all, I would say I had a great time; saw many wonderful sights and some of the country I had never been in before. We even discovered, quite by chance, Kermit the Frog’s birth place in Leland Mississippi, and saw the tomb and museum for Will Rogers in Oklahoma. Was a bystander at the Cherokee Pow Wow, watching the dancers take to the Sacred Ground as the Singers and drummers sat around the living, vocal drum sing the songs of the different tribes in attendance.

But one thing I learned is that you really can’t go back home; for one thing, your home might not be there. Places and people change. Most of the older folks die and others have moved on, just as you have. Just as I have taken the road ‘less traveled’ and thought I needed to burn my bridges, I know that going back to the place where the two road diverged, one finds two new and very different road. Maybe more than two roads, but one remembers. That first footprint on the other path might have been swept away with time, but the memory of that step bring back so many more. Memories long forgotten are awakened by just looking for them. Pieces of yourself that you know will always be you, always be a part of you. It’s who you are. Remember and gather in your memories.

A few year back on our trip through New England, we visited Robert Frost’s farm, where he tried his hand at farming. Where we looked out his window and saw trees that were not planted when he lived there. This poem by Robert Frost’s has always been one of my favorite. Without knowing the reasons why it pulled so many possibilities out of thin air, it has charted my life’s journey in some manor of speaking. My path of transition and what I found in my way was most certainly not what I expected. Finding a happier self, helping others when I can and showing others that I am just me. Finding that I can face adversity as I deal with my breast cancer. Happy, contented person with a purpose with my daughter and wife by my side; I have indeed made quite a difference by taking the less traveled road.

Labor Day Corrections

2011-09-04T18:25:00.000-07:00

Detail of Labor day trip to follow; stay tuned

Canceled

2011-08-27T05:25:00.000-07:00

Obviously, everyone has heard about the storm surging up the Eastern Coast and it's destruction and havoc to communities. Well the Labor Day concert as well as the Dedication of the new MLK Memorial have been canceled. This is a part of the message I've received:

Statement from YouthCUE's Executive Director Regarding Labor Day at the Cathedral

August 26, 2011 | 3:30 pm CST

Early this morning, Cathedral officials notified YouthCUE they would be unable host our concert on September 4th due to damages sustained during the earthquake and the impending threat to the facility posed by Hurricane Irene’s projected landfall over the next several days.

YouthCUE’s Executive Leadership Team has been working diligently and around-the-clock to simulate contingency plans and explore potential opportunities for alternate concert venues.

Due to the Cathedral’s decision, and influenced in no small part by the very serious threat posed to the entire eastern seaboard by the hurricane, we have made the difficult decision to cancel the 2011 Labor Day at the Cathedral event.

The powers involved are making plans to reschedule the concert for next year, so now we are changing our holiday plans, stay tuned. Maybe headed west!

Another Day for Visibility

2011-08-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

Don't know how we always manage to cram so much into one day, but yesterday was one of those days. As usual, we always get asked to speak with classes about Sexual Diversity, and yesterday was a great class. We are always happily surprised that when students 'get it', by asking some great questions.

Then that afternoon we had set up an information table for PFLAG, the University has a 'Happening' where organization and business set up on the front lawn as a way of introducing the students of what is in the community. We sat under a tent (thank goodness cause it was HOT) for the afternoon and had several people get information. All-in-all, it was a very good day for the lgbt community as there was a table for the GSA Organization and a table for South GA Pride.

A good start for the new year.

About Labor Day Concert

2011-08-23T12:30:00.000-07:00

When I heard about this concert from Dr. Neal, I chose this concert over another concert that the University Choir did in New York City at the end of last May. We had already made plans to attend the high school graduation of a close friend who lives in South Carolina.

The early plans was for a choir of up to 300 members, it is fixed now at 160 voices. I applied as a member since getting a chance to sing in the National Cathedral would be a Once-in-a-lifetime experience as a life long musician. Truthfully I didn't realize that the concert's timing was during the week of the 10th Anniversary of 9/11 until a few weeks ago. As a musician, getting to sing this program with the National Symphony in our National Cathedral can not be humbled enough, nor proud enough to do this premier event in just a few days. One voice of 160! It will take everything I can muster to maintain my emotions and stay focused on the music.

Please remember all who lost their lives and for those who were among the first responders.

Concert At Cathedral for Labor Day

2011-08-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

This is a publicity poster for the Labor Day Concert, that I will be singing with; please note that our good Dr. Neal from VSU is the Associate Festival Conductor. There is to be a dedication piece for 9/11 from the movie "Saving Private "Ryan". If you know of anyone who lives in the DC area please tell them about the concert, please invite them to DC and spread the word.

What Are They Advertising Again?

2011-08-16T06:11:00.000-07:00

What Are They Advertising Again?

Thought this one needed sharing!

Jennifer Boylan on Trans Rights in the NY Times

2011-08-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

Jennifer Boylan on Trans Rights in the NY Times

This is from Jillian Weiss

Gad%20Beck%2C%20profiled%20in%20Miami%20Herald%20a%20decade%20ago%2C%20now%20the%20last%20known%20gay%20survivor%20of%20Holocaust

2011-08-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

Gad%20Beck%2C%20profiled%20in%20Miami%20Herald%20a%20decade%20ago%2C%20now%20the%20last%20known%20gay%20survivor%20of%20Holocaust

Spoke too soon, I have seen this film at the University VSU

Last Known Gay Holocaust Survivor Dies

2011-08-05T06:18:00.000-07:00

Last Known Gay Holocaust Survivor Dies

We must keep telling these stories, as some preach the denial theory, that this never happened.

Voices of Light

Soldiers who fought the Fight
Voices of War’s, telling truth’s light
Of those who lived the horrors of War
Each true voice, a single shard of light
Truth in the telling of Armies might
Lived on far distant shores
By collective voices of Armies
Shining like beacons
Together blinding the words
Of lies and deceit

As each soldier who fought
Grows older and falls, so dims the light
And memories of War with time
As each shard of light is extinguished
The beacons of Truth wavers and blurs
But, we who are washed with beacons light
Must listen ever louder
To the dimming voices of truth
Proclaiming the true lessons of War
Against the voices of lies and deceit

SJ Riggle

More Details Emerge on Norway's Fundamentalist Terrorist

2011-07-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

More Details Emerge on Norway's Fundamentalist Terrorist

This is the important part of this horrific story. This is the possibilities within the reactive factions of the Christian Right, extremist who become, Judge and Executioner of those 'they' perceive to be a threat to their cultural way of life.

Another Christian Post story has this highlight:

I

n Norway and Sweden extreme Marxist attitudes have become acceptable/everyday while the old-established truths of patriotism and cultural conservatism today are branded as extremism.

Candidly, his complaints against liberal churches sound like the screeds one sees on the website of the far right's so-called Institute for Religion and Democracy. Another example is Robert Knight's recent screed in the Washington Times against gay marriage and "the Obama administration has stepped up its attacks on the moral order." This highlight from the New York Times is also noteworthy:

Thomas Hegghammer, a terrorism specialist at the Norwegian Defense Research Establishment, said the manifesto bears an eerie resemblance to those of Osama bin Laden and other Al Qaeda leaders, though from a Christian rather than a Muslim point of view. Like Mr. Breivik's manuscript, the major Al Qaeda declarations have detailed accounts of the Crusades, a pronounced sense of historical grievance and calls for apocalyptic warfare to defeat the religious and cultural enemy.

According to the police, Mr. Breivik first drew security services to central Oslo when he exploded a car bomb outside a 17-story government office building, killing at least seven people. Then he took a public ferry to Utoya Island, where he carried out a remarkably meticulous attack on Norway's current and future political elite. Dressed as a police officer, he announced that he had come to check on the security of the young people who were attending a political summer camp there, many of them the children of members of the governing Labor Party.

He gathered the campers together and for some 90 hellish minutes he coolly and methodically shot them, hunting down those who fled. At least 85 people, some as young as 16, were killed.

Given the constant drumbeat of grievances against gays, liberals, Hispanics, blacks and Muslims being put out by so-called Christian "family values" groups and far right GOP aligned organizations, one can only wonder how many would-be Breiviks are being cultivated here at home in the USA.

How One Photo Has Changed Hearts and Minds

2011-07-24T05:46:00.000-07:00

How One Photo Has Changed Hearts and Minds

This cosmic change reaches further into the people's of the world than we could ever imagine. Kay and I were speaking to a college class for Social Work studies and the Professor is from Japan. She suggested that because the City of New York is an Icon for a great number of foreign citizens, the great number of images of marriages of same-sex partners will speak volumes to our changing cultures and mind set for the lgbt community. If we combine New York's gift of marriage with our military finally repealing 'DADT', will be like a tsunami spreading and reaching into and throughout society's darkest corners.

This wave of recognition for change will push and wash over so many constructs of society that we can only imagine. What will happen is this change will cause serious and overreaction by those who do not want change; who will take their revenge out on those they despise. We can expect to see vicious acts of hate and expressed anger from those who are being pushed to the edges.

Lets pray for peaceful days in the coming months.

No Anglican Covenant!!

2011-07-20T06:28:00.000-07:00

I could say, "Well said", but would that be wrong?

Telling Secrets: Dead Birds and Debt Ceilings

2011-07-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

Telling Secrets: Dead Birds and Debt Ceilings

This is the conversation we all must be involved with, death and debts caused by failure of those who take the power.

The Labor Day Concert in Washington, DC

2011-07-16T05:14:00.001-07:00

This is just one of the pieces that is to be sung during the Labor Day Concert in Washington DC, at the National Cathedral. An opportunity opened that there was to be a 300 member choir from across the nation, and Valdosta State's Choral Director, Dr Paul Neal is to be one of the invited conductors. For me, this is a chance of a lifetime, as I have never seen the Cathedral and have only been in Washington for a day.

As a lifelong musician, I think this would be the high point in my life. As both an instrumentalist and a vocalist, I have performed in concert hall, parade fields, in local and state festivals and parades. I was in an Army band that backed up Bob Hope many years ago when he gave a benefit performance, I've sung our National Anthem in the "Sun Bowl" stadium at El Paso, Texas for Military Appreciation Day; for about 30,000 people that sunny Saturday afternoon. I was in the military band that greeted the Iranian hostages after they were released and landed in Germany for their first medical checkup.

I have sung in two college operas as a male cast member and I have been cast as one of the nurses in the local production of "South Pacific". As a member of the combined choirs for Valdosta's Symphony, we have sung many major works. But to be able to sing with such a large combined choir in such a historical and magnificent place as the National Cathedral, it would be a great honor and achievement for me as a lifelong musician.

Invest in America + Equal Sharing = Everyone Pays

2011-07-15T06:41:00.000-07:00

grape jelly, grown, squeezed and filled in jars.

2011-07-14T18:32:00.000-07:00

These are the grapes from a vine I planted 3 years ago and are loaded this summer with small but really sweet grapes. With plenty of grapes on the vine and ripening rather quickly, we couldn't eat them all without some going bad.

Today, we collected 12 cups of grapes and made some grape jelly. 12 cups has made 9 small jelly jars of sweet, pink jelly. Can't wait to try some in the morning.

We have canned and frozen a lot of vegetables so far this summer. But I am giddy that we have been able to use our own grapes, and tomatoes in our jelly and pickled cherry tomatoes. Grapes that I grew in our back yard that are now jars of jelly, is a good feeling.

2011-07-01T20:05:00.000-07:00

Ok I just gotta re-post this great video from Susan Russell, Kathy has said it all about this 'Candidate'

Father Geoff Farrow: NOM called out on deception and outright lies

2011-07-01T07:42:00.000-07:00

Father Geoff Farrow: NOM called out on deception and outright lies: "Please help out and post this on your facebook page. Thanks!"

Time to decide to Stand for Yourself

2011-06-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

This story is about the courts, Ms Dukes and Walmart clubbing the American Workers, women and being discriminated against by the 'Company'. Our Supreme Court telling the Women of Walmart they have to 'work it out with the Bossman', if the feel they are being block for management position. Yet I keep seeing the those promotional ad about how some women, Military Officer's getting management jobs. Makes me think there might be other forces at play that are keeping older longterm employees from being promoted to management prositions.

The Catholic Church, Higher ups are telling the American Church to pull honors given to Gov. Como and other Elected Officials who voted for Marriage Equality in New York. They are probable telling Church official not to give, or to with hold the Sacraments to the same Elected Officials. To deny Catholic the Sacraments for standing up to what is 'right' even though it goes against Church Policy to control Catholics is criminal.

Where do we draw the line for discrimination by the Church and Large Corporations to keep the masses under their boot heels. I highly recommend that you read the following story told by a wonderful Episcopal Priest, Elizabeth Keaton story of how she learned about the Holy Spirit in Shekinah

Another great Day

2011-06-22T04:44:00.000-07:00

Look what we did! Yesterday was another day that turned out to be a great outing spent with my daughter. We returned to Nashville, Ga as we wanted to get come Silver Queen corn for us and Julie's mom wanted to bushels for herself. Unfortunately they had only 2 bushels of corn, but they had several boxes of tomatoes that would be good for canning. So Julie got the 2 bushels of corn for her mother and we took 3 boxes of tomatoes for us. As we were so close to the blackberry farm we drove out to the farm and got 4 gals of blackberries, not berries from the commercial field, but just as good.

Since it was about an hours drive from Valdosta to the berry place, we met first and had lunch after my checkup at the VA clinic that morning. We dropped Julie back at her truck with the 2 bushels of corn and her 3 gal of berries, said thanks with hugs all around and went home to can.

As we were preparing the jars and water for the water bath to scald the tomatoes, we froze 1 pan of blackberries and ate on the rest of the berries that day. After scalding, peeling, cutting and cooking the tomatoes, from the 2 boxes of tomatoes we were able to put up 30 quarts. So adding the 10 quarts we already had put up, we have 40 quarts of tomatoes for next winters fixing like soups, stews, spaghetti and chili. These tomatoes are better that the last batch we put up, so these will sure brighten the long cold days of next winter.

Oh yea, the blackberry wine seems to be doing very well, should be some awesome wine.

Buy local produce and learn how to can and freeze, makes a great bonding experience and will fill the freezer with good things to eat.

To make a Great Kid

2011-06-18T08:49:00.000-07:00

Great advice from an involved stay-at-home dad. It take two to tango and it take two to raise a child that's happy.

A Truly Awesome Afternoon!

2011-06-15T20:24:00.000-07:00

The world keeps turning, even after yesterday when we had to go to the nearest Air Force Base to renew our Military ID cards. The gentleman at the window didn't flinch when Kay asked to renew her ID care as I was standing behind her as her sponsor. Nor did he say any thing when I discovered my ID had expired 2 months ago and we renewed mine.

The world kept turning as Kay's grandchildren, my daughter Julie and her mother gathered at our house to make blackberry wine. Julie had stopped by on Tuesday as one of the baskets of blackberries we had picked was hers and she took it home. We got a call latter that evening, to thank us for the berries and to say that they were addictive. Today we got a call saying that my ex wanted to come over with Julie to watch us make the blackberry wine. It took 2 gallons of berries for the wine, we froze about 3 gallons worth and are eating on the last basket of berries.

We had a very nice afternoon with my ex, my daughter, Colleen and her children; so everyone got to meet everyone else and we sat around the table and just chatted, laughed, and had a great afternoon. And the world kept turning. It was a day I had only wished for, for so many years, everyone together again. A truly Awesome Afternoon!

New Law makes Sense

2011-06-13T06:37:00.000-07:00

Now this new Immigration Law makes perfect sense, it's a money maker. By filling our Privatized Jail with illegal immigrants corporations are able to create a money machine, almost like a Money Tree. Only the Golden Apples are "illegal immigrants".

Request from Laura

2011-06-06T06:44:00.000-07:00

Laura asked me to repost this message for her, please respect her privacy and if you are a follower then send her an email please.

Sarah

Hi guys,

Can I ask a favor from you? My blog has had to go private as you know and I sent a bunch of invites via the messaging on the blog but I don't think anyone got them. Can you post on your blogs for me a public service announcement because a lot of the people that follow my blogs, follow yours as well. Just something to the effect of The World According to Laura has gone private however if you wish to keep following send an email to laura at laurab323@hotmail.comand she will add you...

I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming as we need all the help we can get right now.

Best to you all,

Laura

Fights for Her Self

2011-06-05T05:15:00.000-07:00

This will happen more often in the coming days, it's just sad and very disappointing that some people just can't wrap their tiny little brains around the process of why's and how's of someone challenging their gender identity. The inability of some to get labels right by continuing and insisting on calling Transsexual Women, transgender; much less 'transgendered male'.

I always get a sense that those who insist using these terms have issues themselves and won't come to terms with their own bodies and brains.

Memorial Day Remembrances

2011-06-02T05:38:00.000-07:00

We left Charleston on Tuesday since we found a good deal for a room atHampton Inn about a mile from the beach on Hilton Head. After checking in early that day we indulged ourselves with a swim in the pool until the afternoon sun had cooled down a bit. Since Folly Beach wasn't that far away we changed and headed to feel the wind and surf. The boardwalk from the parking lot to the beach was short and well maintained, as they had laid down a plastic mat over the sand and dunes to the sand of the beach. Beautiful long well packed sandy beach and not too many people. We had taken our short chairs and some drinks and just sat our butts down drinking in the salty air and getting lost with the sound of the surf. It wasn't too long until the tide had over taken us and we had to move back up the beach out of the way of the rising tides. We noticed all the jellyfish like the one in the picture washing up on the shore, all seemed to be of the same kind and various sizes. Our last hour was spent walking the beach and water letting ourselves go over the horizon. The afternoon was slowly giving way to night and we found ourselves hungry and after changing we took our supper at the famous Hudson Rest. which is on the West side of the island, they use the fish they catch during the day as they also manage fishing excursions for the tourists. The shrimp boats are working boat so the deal is you have to help with the shrimping and the catch of the day is shared. The restaurant sits on the river between the island and the mainland so there is always a magnificent view of the days sunset against the outline of the shrimp boats and docks.

The next morning we just had to take some more time to walk the beach and get in another swim before heading home. All in all, it was a wonderful time, great birthday and graduation celebrations, Memorial Day remembrances and a sorely needed time for us to get away and de-stress ourselves from everything.

Thank you my Love for the Birthday Concerts, the trip, and the times at the beach with you.

2011-05-30T20:06:00.000-07:00

The top picture is of the Cistern at the College of Charleston and the first evenings jazz concert.

The second picture is of the Spoleto Festival Dock Street Theatre, Where the Chamber Music was held. Awesome music.

Our Charleston Birthday Trip

Well, actually the trip was to surprise a friends daughter when she graduated from Summerville High School, which was actually held at the Convention Center. The trip was both a need to disconnect from what was happening in Valdosta and the great need for Kay to find her beach and open water; it also was just a continuation of my Birthday weekend.

We managed to get room at Charleston AFB Inn for the few day and on our first day in we had supper at Manny’s Mediterranean Place where I talked with a small group of Klingon Women Warriors at they held their weekly meeting. The food was very well prepared. That evening we had tickets to see our first concert with the Spoleto Festival and the Wells Fargo Jazz concert by Karrin Allyson,
“In the 15 years since Karrin Allyson first appeared at Spoleto Festival USA, her voice has gone the route young singers hope for—deepening, enriching, reaching the height of its potential. With musical fearlessness that ventures beyond the familiar framework of the Great American Songbook, she has become “one of the jazz world’s finest.” (Los Angeles Times); at the Cistern Yard, College of Charleston on George Street singing a few number from her current album CD ‘Round Midnight.

The next day, Saturday, was Katlyn’s graduation and after we rested, we spent the rest of the evening celebrating with our friend and family. Good chicken Rob, and you’re are a great dad to your children.

On Sunday, we chilled and had tickets for the Chamber Music Concert at the Dock Street Theatre on Church Street were we heard;
Oboe Quartet in F major, K. 370 Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756–91)
Oi Kuu (For the Moon) Kaija Saariaho (b. 1952)
ZZ’s Dream
Osvaldo Golijov (b. 1960) and the
Piano Quintet in G minor, Op. 57 Dmitri Shostakovich (1906–75)

I would have really like to have heard more concerts but there is time and money and both were in short supply. Actually we realized that there are a lot of other offerings that are free, only there are happening in the following days and we need to get back home. Maybe next year we can do more.

On Memorial Day, we didn’t just want to sit on the beach all day and get burnt to a crisp, so we walked around downtown Charleston that morning and had a great lunch, and as we walked back to the car we came across a Oop’s Catalogue store where I found a great dress for $18 bucks, not bad considering that I saw others dresses priced in the hundreds of dollars, for the same cloth. After lunch and as it was going on to 2 pm we headed to Isle of Palms strip of beach and watched a steady stream of cars leave the island, which was a good sign for us as we didn’t loose too much time finding a place to park for the day. We just took our little chairs, a bag of drinks and snacks, our books and blanket to the beach with us. We actually took a spot from some people as they were leaving in the shade under a pier and just sat, read and felt the sea breeze on our faces as we watched the waves run to the shore. We never actually stuck our toes in the surf, but we really didn’t have a need.

As we walked around the state park, we noticed there were 3 short boardwalks to go to the water with lockable gates, and we noticed that the would be closed and locked at 7 pm that evening. As we read and lost track of time, soon we realized it was closing time as the took turns using the bathroom, it wasn’t until an hour later we decided we had enough and turned to leave noticing that all the gates were locked. Luckily there was another open boardwalk about 600 yards up the beach between some condos. So we weren’t really locked on the beach, but we hoped that the parking lot was still open; and so it was. Returning for the last night at the Air Force Inn. 4 nights in Charleston $150, 2 incredible concerts for 2 $130, shopping, eating, day at the beach, Priceless.

Friday 13th Detours

2011-05-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

Kay and I have realized that the events for week we think and see head is somewhat flexible, cause you never know what stuff will be thrown in one's way. So the week had gone pretty much like we had expected until Friday morning. I was to go have some lab work done for my doctor's appointment next week, which I had missed earlier in the week. So luckily the lab wasn't crowded that Friday morning and I was in and out in 15 min, but not before she talked about how today was Friday the 13th, and I hadn't realized it was. As I arrived home, Kay was feeding Trinity as we had agreed to meet some friends to watch her daughter's end-of-school performance, and so I watched Trinity so Kay could get ready.

So, within the next few minutes I took a phone call, a friend had been admitted Wednesday night because she was coughing up blood, and her mother had been admitted the next morning for other reasons and she wanted us to look in on her cats and dog. We said that we had something to do that morning but we would come visit them today.

As we had agreed to fix a meal for a member of our church family to whom a new son had been born, Kay was fixing one of her famous Chicken-Pot Pies and I had to make the crusts, so we put two pot-pies together and I had some dough left over so I made a small pie crust for some Key-Lime pie with frozen blueberries sprinkled on top while Trinity and Kay took a quick nap.

After Trinity's mother picked her up, we decided to visit our friends in the hospital, then come back and gather up the diner to deliver. Some one's directions were not very clear and since the parent's house was in a really new section their address wasn't listed in our gps device. But we finally realized our mistake and found their house soon enough to get it delivered while it was still warm, and since their house was near our church we were able to pick up our 'Boston Butt' that we had ordered from the men of the church who was selling them to raise money for our new building program to expand the parish hall.

After all that we had an hour before we were to meet some friends for supper, which was fun. We met at a Japanese restaurant where they cook on the grill at your table; kind of showy antics. Cute cooking with good food with great friends. Afterwards we all came back to our house and were able to talk and continue the good fun.

Shopping Overload

2011-05-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

Warning; to those who love to shop, this might sound strange!

I do love to shop when I am in the mood, and we have shopped at Macy's in both Gainesville, and Tallahassee, but this past Friday, we were in Atlanta and Kay wanted to stop by Macy's to look for some nice tops. It had been a rather long day for us as we watched our little one from 7:40 to 1 pm and then loaded up the car and drove to Atlanta. Of course we stopped by Macy's before we checked in for the night. I was tired but wanted to look for some tops for me, and since we have both lost weight we were in smaller sizes. I went upstairs to visit the Misses department as was immediately overwhelmed by the quantities of designers much less with the vast amounts of clothes and styles. I was disoriented since this store had grouped all their clothing by designers and not by sizes I quickly realized. Much to my chagrin, I also realized that the clothes on the second floor only went up to a size 14; not what I was looking for. The sale people were trying to be helpful, but when one doesn't really know what she is looking for, I was like a deer caught in the headlights, didn't know where to turn or run to, so I slunked back downstairs rather glassy eyed and found Kay. She said she would go with me to look when she finished her shopping, but it was getting late and so we left Macy's and checked into our room and crashed.

The next morning we had some time to kill, and feeling much better even though I forgot to bring my sleeping medicine and slept fitfully, we went back to Macy's because Kay wanted to get a top she passed up the night before. That was when I realized that this Macy's has an entirely different system of sizing their clothes. The smaller sizes in the Women's section went down to a OX which the sales person explained was really their Extra Large size, so I immediately found a wonderful black and white dress what would look better for the occasion than the dress I was wearing that morning's Nurses Pinning Ceremony we were attending that afternoon. I found lots of wonderful clothes, but we were running out of time and I really needed a new dress.

So, the lesson to be learned is not to go shopping when one is tired and is not in the mood.

Watching Children - Priceless

2011-05-02T08:34:00.000-07:00

Friday night, the vestry member of our church was having a meeting, and so I said I would watch the two children of a vestry member; her husband has been the primary nursery attendant during our Sunday service.

He was to bring the two children to me for the evening and I had made plans for us. Pizza and Ice Cream, tickets to see "Rio" and popcorn and drinks, of course. Since the little girls was playing at some of the arcade games when I ordered the snacks, she didn't get to order candy, (shame on me). But it was all worth the cost and trouble, watching their little faces smiling and filled with laughter at the movie's main character, the bird named "blu". Since we ate our pizzas before we left, I bought a large popcorn and shared with them. The movie ended and we returned home to have Ice Cream, which the girl didn't like, so she finished eating her orange slices from the can she had brought.

The vestry meeting was to finish by 9 pm and we had enough time to eat our ice cream and ride back to the church to exchange the children for Kay. I got to the church with time for them to play and work off the sugar high they must have had by this time.

Yes, when we watch children it is usually cost us money, but we wouldn't have it any other way. As the old saying goes, "This will hurt me more that you.", well we wouldn't trade our time with 'our' children for anything. They give us so much joy.

Good Care at VA Medical Center

2011-04-29T08:26:00.000-07:00

The staff at the Va Medical Center in Gainesville is very professional indeed. Yesterday, I returned to be fitted with my new hearing aids, and so as I was called back to the room, the staff person, called for a Mr. Smith, and I replied, do you mean Sarah? No problem, we sat down and we chatted as he adjusted the new aids. These are one's you can adjust for echos and other sounds, as each has a volume control I can increase or decrease the volume. He mentioned that my significant would appreciate me wearing my new devices, I said yes and then he asked if he could call me Sarah.

Actually I have never had anyone express disapproval for being trans by anyone at the Medical Center. Just once, the clerk who checking me out for payment looked at my old Military ID twice and made a stupid comment, like really?

These new hearing aides are so much better that the first ones I got 4 years ago, I can actually hear the floor boards creak under my feet and the small bell I hung of the door knob for our small dog.

Men in Bathrooms with Our Mothers, Daughters... Grandmothers?

2011-04-27T23:09:00.000-07:00

The ChristianHeadlines read

Will CT Allow Men in Bathrooms with Our Mothers, Daughters... Grandmothers?

"Unlike homosexuals, many transgendered men are sexually attracted to women. They express their gender identity in a skirt while, at the same time, they are attracted to, date and marry women. Though definitions are fluid, the transgender community commonly refers to these men as "male lesbians."

"One expression is a heterosexual man who chooses to dress as a woman or as a woman and a man at the same time -- not temporarily or as part of a transitional period, but as a permanent expression of self. This expression can include cashmere and chest hair or breasts with a beard. Unfortunately labeled by transgender activists as "gender*cking" (they substitute * for "u"), this type of expression is included under the umbrella of transgender and would be protected by the proposed law."

Really, cashmere sweater and chest hair and/or breasts with a beard; is that your idea of a trans woman. Oh, but that’s “transgender(ed) (adjective) men, oh is that a woman who presents as a man; (that the definition that I was given) not!! But then they describe a heterosexual man who chooses to dress as a woman, (Ok I get that), but then they describe him as a woman and a man AT THE SAME TIME! OH My, goodness, lets see, a person who splits himself down the middle wearing on the left side, (left being the insidious side of man) long hair, makeup (on that side) 1/2 a dress, stockings and a high heel. The right side mans haircut, 1/2 of a mustache, tie, jacket, trousers and oxford with elevated heel to match the other heel. Get the picture, I did sound like a old Carnival side show.

He could get the feminine side drunk and take her home to have his way with her, or she with him. Talk about a cheap drunk!

Inspiring days of 'Holy Week"

2011-04-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

Our lesson learned this past week is when you pray for something from the heart for long enough it might come to pass. But more important is when you pray don't be specific, just pray; because what you can get is something that you never imagined would happen in a lifetime. We have had reservation about 'holy week' as that was the time when some people really tried to push us into a corner and make us invisible as members of our church, so we really haven't been too visible.

Our 'Holy Week' began with us being part of a information training panel that was to create 'safe spaces' for lgbt student on campus. As leaders of the local chapter of PFLAG, we were just one of the many groups who explained their purpose for protecting and supporting gay and lesbian students.

As I am the strong voice in the choir, we are a integral part of the whole thursday service with the foot washing ritual. So I was a little surprised when our Vicar specifically asked to wash my feet and say that she wanted to talk to me after service. It has become part of the service for the choir director and I to sing this duet from John Stainer's composition, "The Crucifixion" and he was in such good voice this week it was a powerful experience for me.

On Friday Kay and I were scheduled to speak to a graduate level class for Sociology, which by class time had been combined with another class so instead of 25, there were now about 45 student in the room. It was suppose to be a 'smart' classroom with all the electronic goodies, which failed to work, but we dove into the class discussion despite the technical problems.

We had mentioned to my daughter that we would be speaking to this class and because her degree is in Sociology, she was interested in hearing us. She was a few minutes late and so she sat in the back next to the professor who knew she wasn't one of his students and encouraged her to join us at the front. As we have talked to several college classes before, our lecture topics has become refined, but as the questions differ we jump around some issues and experiences, which we don't mean to do, but there is a time constraint and we encourage question and hope we answer. But having my daughter there, she was able to give her perspective on how she dealt and felt about my transitioning. That class got big bonus points listening to a child, a daughter and her anger and thoughts on before and now several year later, having the change to internalize her emotions and feelings about the family, her father and person she now calls Sarah.

Getting the Message

2011-04-20T13:32:00.000-07:00

The PFLAG group of Valdosta have been on the march to find ways to get the good word about PFLAG and how it can help those who are having difficulties. So we were surprised to learn that the PFLAG chapter of Tallahassee has posted several videos which everyone can use and learn from. Thank you Susan Gage and Tallahassee chargin PFLAG; well done, good and faithful servant, well done.

The Crew

2011-04-10T05:08:00.001-07:00

Referring to the previous post, we had a great time with the grandkids Nick and James at you know where in Florida. We had 4 day tickets to be used within 13 days, probably will not be able to get back down to use again. But we are gonna try.

Life's Box of Chocolates Pushed Buttons

2011-04-09T17:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes our lives is like a box of chocolates, we never know what the coming week will show us until we tuck ourselves into our own beds on Saturday night. And this week has been a doosey of a week, if you haven't read about our two day of adventures with our grandkids at Universal. They were truly delightful for the both of us. Not counting losing our car for a little while on Wednesday evening and Kay's run-in with a parking spot stealer as we drove back on Thursday.

On Friday we were off to Thomasville, two towns west of us for a Convention of Church Women for Southern Georgia. As Kay was the coordinator between a certain church and the rest of the Diocese, she didn't not get the help that she expected and wound up doing most of the leg work, with getting room at a local hotel and what the church said they would do. Registration was suppose to close two weeks ago and surprising no one from the sponsoring church had registered for the convention. I was given a list of registered women and made and printed name tags, and sent out invitation for members of the board and past presidents for their luncheon. So it was no surprise that several women were at the meeting, without paying and not officially registered. We just wish that they had taken the time to actually register. So luckily I had printed several blank name tags which we had to use by the end of Friday's registration.

Just before we broke for the final service, a woman approached me and re-introduced herself to me as she recognized me from an Integrity Meeting 5 years ago (Integrity is the LGBT group for the Episcopal Church). She broke into a warm smile as she told me how she recognized me from so many years ago; and how she is so pleased to see me so active with church functions. She remembers that I was still cautious and beginning to believe in myself at that meeting those many years ago and was thrilled to see just how far I had come.

The Church we were meeting is a holdover of the Anglican style service of 1928 prayerbook and practice. The practice of not recognizing the role of women, keeping and continuing the practice of the alter against the back wall, making the Celebrant stand with his back to the members of the congregation; and certainly not considering LGBT members. With the new Bishop, he has allow this church to continue but he was certainly pushing all the buttons for the service today. His assistant on the alter was a woman, the Deacon was a woman, and to push harder I was asked to read the Old Testament Scripture. Me an out lesbian and trans woman standing before the lectern and the gathering of Church woman reading scripture in a church who's philosophy still holds on the Patriarchal way of dominance of his Church, (only 2 of these church's remains in the Diocese).

Policeman on a Bicycle

2011-04-07T17:43:00.000-07:00

What I was thinking was that it was an odd coincidence that just after Kay had spit the deed, who should arrive but a policeman on a bicycle. I was trying to get her excited about him but she was too tickled and he rode on toward another parking lot. So there was never in any chance of being ticketed.

Just saying! I never knew that she could spit like that. Maybe I should sign up for a seed spittin contest this year.

Father Forgive Her Because She Knew EXACTLY What She Was Doing

2011-04-07T15:33:00.000-07:00

As Sarah has posted previously, we had a wonderful time with grand kids for the past two days. The first day was spent in Islands of Adventure and the second in Universal Studios. Dad, boys and Sarah liked the rides. Colleen, Trinity and I liked the shows, the slower moving things (not so much up and down, round and round) and play areas for Trinity. We had time just talk and meander. It was good time.

It is about 3.5 hour drive down to Orlando from where we live. Add that to two days in amusement parks with ladies of ummmmmmmm a certain age and you have a little fatigue going on. Also, added to the mix was the coordinating a ladies church meeting that I had not planned to do got dumped on me and they had been calling and irritating me while I was on vacation. All was good UNTIL..........we started to the music store just before we left to pick up a keyboard we had purchased. I was driving. As usual, Sarah starts telling me how to drive and where to go. Most days I would just ignore her but ................well today the fatigue kinda clouded my mind so I "stop telling me what to do!" She didn't. So things were a little tense for a few minutes. We both know this is just the difference in our personalities so we got back our more pleasant moods, got the keyboard and got on the road.

Sarah wanted to stop in Gainesville at the VA Hospital because they have ordered new hearing aids for her (I am so happy because she really has some deafness). So I turn off the correct exit and drive to the VA Hospital. The parking lot is full!! We are driving around and see a car pulling out of a parking space. I put my blinkers on and wait for the man to back out the parking place. A car comes from behind me, starts to go around as the man is backing out of his place. I thought the guy pulling around us was in a hurry. He was!! He was in a hurry to get the parking space I was waiting for! Well, that just pissed me off! I didn't stop and yell at him because there are so many crazy, mean people in the world today and losing my life over a parking place is not the way I want to go out. I just ranted and raved about "white male privilege" as we walked into the hospital. I was REALLY irritated now.

Sarah was able to only schedule an appointment to get her hearing aids so we were in and out of the hospital in 5 minutes. As we walked out into the parking lot, I was pretty sure the parking space stealing guy's car was still going to be in the parking lot. A lot of options went through my mind about what I could do to get him back. No, I was not going to damage his car but...........if I could just think of something. I looked around for some boards that I could put behind his tires so he couldn't back up easily but, of course, there are no boards. Then a solution came into my mind. I began preparing. Just as we got to the back of the guys car, I had worked up a really big mouth full of spit. I spit at his car. I really didn't think it would actually hit his car BUT..............not only did the spit hit his car but it hit in EXACTLY the middle of his back window.............he was going to have to look through my spit to get out of his parking place!

Sarah was HORRIFIED. She looked back and said, "there is a cop on a bicycle that just pulled out as you did that." I said I didn't care. Sarah says, "what will you do if he comes and says something to you?" The ridiculousness of the situation was beginning to get to me. I began laughing. I mean really belly laughing! I said, "I will tell the policeman that I sneezed." Sarah just looked more horrified.

Sarah decides that it is her turn to drive now. We get in the car and decide where we are going to eat. As we are driving along, the ridiculousness of what I had done really gets me to laughing again. Sarah is still concerned about the policeman. I can't quit laughing. Finally, Sarah gets tickled. We got to one of our favorite restaurants had a delicious meal. Then went to a little shop, bought our daughter a gift and came home.

Oh, God. I hope that church ladies meeting goes good tomorrow!

2nd good day at Park

2011-04-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

Had a second great day at Universal Studios with our extended family grandkids. Spent the day at the other side of the park with E.T. and Terminator and Twisters, Oh My!! Watching both boys experience the rides and shows is a treat in itself with their dad. We haven't been at one of these attractions with kids in a long time. Heard some good bands during the day, danced with the kids, did the hand jive song with the band that played the oldies at Mel's Diner. Saw Lucy and Ricky and Marilyn walking down the street, saw Scooby, Curious George and Woody and Dora the Explorer. Saw a lot more people than yesterday as it was sunny.

Ever notice when you are in a large crowd like they have at Universal that the Europeans seem to be more pushy when it comes to lines.

Our grandkids were getting tired so we said goodbye as they left us to have more fun; trouble was we were about done ourselves as so we stopped and ate a cinnamon bun as our final treat to ourselves and headed back to the hotel. Trouble again, we almost forgot where we parked the car and spent 20 looking for it on level 3 when it was on level 2. Thank goodness Kay had the clicker and we could set the horn and lights off and eventually figured out we were in the right section, but one level above the car. And now after today's adventure we are just chillin and tending to our sore bodies.

And it's home tomorrow for a busy weekend; no rest for the weary. But we wouldn't have it any other way after spending time with the grandkids. Thanks daughter and family.

Day with the GrandKids

2011-04-05T16:13:00.000-07:00

Just spent a wonderful day with the grandchildren at Universal Studios and Harry Potter's World. Just as we parked the car and started for the park, the bottom fell out and there was heavy rain for most of the morning. We finally met up with them at the wand shop and began the day doing everything. Little Trinity was a trooper for the whole day, slept with short naps and was happy and a real good baby. Getting to experience all the rides, shows, the people and watching the boys having fun is the best part of us getting to be the grandparents with them on this trip.

The rides at the park are so much better than in years, (that's many years) past. Galen and I took the boys on Harry's broom ride and on Spiderman's ride. Both were terrific, fast and lots of fun; so much so that I believe I laughed through most of both rides. Oh and the butterbeer, is good too.

Walking around the park for the whole day is not the problem, it's the sitting and then walking some more. We left them eating supper in Dr. Seuss land.

So we are having supper with Laura and her wife in a few minutes and then tomorrow we get to spend the day at the other park.

Another Class Presentation

2011-03-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

It's been two years since we gathered to speak with the Graduate Therapy class. Every year the questions seem to be more introspective about our relationship and the 'how comes' of my trans experience. But this year the class was taped for our documentary, so he now has an additional 2 hours of taped material. Can't wait to see a copy of todays discussion.

Because last years class was postponed to today, we were in a larger classroom with 17 students, and although our presentation is getting better; our story keeps changing. The class was comprised of 14 females and 3 males and that's as far as I will break it down.

We think it's always important to tell our story in person so people will realize that we do normal things, we take care of our house, do our shopping, pay our bills and go out to eat. It's speaking with these groups and classes that will make a big difference in how others will perceive us.

And we always have fun doing them, and it keeps the conversation light and moving forward.

What lawmakers want to do is immoral | Concord Monitor

2011-03-24T05:30:00.000-07:00

What lawmakers want to do is immoral | Concord Monitor

This is the testimony of Bishop Gene Robinson of NH before the State lawmakers about the morality of their proposed budget cuts.

Wanting to be Irish and Gay?

2011-03-18T06:03:00.000-07:00

"Amidst the music, the corned beef and the beer dyed green, there is the story of the saint who gives us this holiday where we all declare ourselves Irish."

Lifted from a friends post, sorry Susan; so of course yesterday was the Feast of Saint, Paddy's Day, god bless, em. St. Paddy's Day, where everyone wants to be Irish so they can party and throw Shamrocks and drink green beer. Like the Mexican Celebration for the 5th of May, or St. Valentines Day, no beer is served but sweet little cards are given to the one you love. So maybe all these party-goers are on to something; if you throw a big party and serve drinks and beer people will want to be a part of your celebration.

Hey, that should work for the gay community, lets serve Red beer, for all the blood we have spilled as we lay dying, or lets color it blue, for all the bruising from being beating we have received. And if we serve this beer amid rousing songs and poetry proclaiming our Gayness where everyone is dress gaily anyway they want what a party we shall have. And for our symbol, lets use a torn heart that's weeping tears of sorrow, wrapped in anger colored red and curses that are blue, draped from the sword that is piercing our broken hearts.

Mammograms

2011-03-17T07:15:00.000-07:00

This is something I have needed to talk about since my last exam. I see a lot of suggestions on facebook to share and support the programs that provide mammograms for women which are good. It is advisable for women of a certain age to get hers done as a baseline mammogram.

As someone who has gone through breast cancer, reconstruction and bi-lateral implants, the procedure for mammograms if very different these days. Because I have had reconstruction and implants they will not do a mammogram on the side that had the breast cancer, so I have only my left side done. The first set of pictures is from four views which include the implants, so the pressure is not as tight as it had been before my breast cancer. My wife and I both agree, it would be a tragedy if by some slim chance our feet should slip out from under us while our breast are squeezed beyond pleasure. Not a pretty picture!

For the second set of pictures the technician must push the implant up and away from the remaining breast tissue to get the pictures. Much like one squeezes the bottom of her toothpaste tube to push the paste up to the top of the tube so it will flow on to the toothbrush more evenly. Get the picture! She did and I am happy to report that everything is clear, so until next year squeezing, don't let your feet slip while you are getting yours done.

Azaleas & PFLAG

2011-03-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

Am so glad this weekend over, we never know just how we will be received being in such a large venue as the Valdosta Azalea Festival. It has been said that the attendance for the two day affair runs somewhere around 20,000 visitors, and so not knowing how people will react to our presence, it is always very stressful for me. Although I didn't really expect a public confrontation, I tend to expect them; but am always grateful when confrontation doesn't happen. We did sell a few buttons and gave away copies of our flyers, but the greatest moments were when people came up to us and thanked us for being in the community. People having moved into the area recently and had been looking for lgbt groups to become involved with.

Those who chose not to engage with us walked on by and others walked closer to actually see what we were about. The people who were involved making this happen like Joe, Sam, Kay all agree that being here at this local event was the best publicity for our bucks spent.

As it is the Azalea Festival, most of the bushes will be in full bloom by mid week.

Thanks to everyone who came by and sign up.

First day of Festival in the books

2011-03-12T17:32:00.000-08:00

Well, I am resting on my couch from a full day. Spent most of the day attending the PFLAG table at the Azalea Festival, we had a lot of people talk and get information, some telling us how glad they are to know that PFLAG has a chapter in town. The grounds were packed with people for most of the day and we mostly smiled and waved at people. I had packed our small flip camera to take some pictures of the tent and the people sitting, but Kay had taken it out of the box of materials and forgot to tell me, so I have no pictures for today. But will take some video tomorrow.

Its alway interesting to see who is a supporter and friendly and then watch a mother take her child's hand and direct their attention away from us as they walk by. We always see some interesting looking people at these types of festivals. So while we aren't disappointed we didn't make the news I am sure we got people talking about us, if not to us.

One good thing that happened is that we found someone who was selling a fruit we have been looking for. Kind of a large, very sweet grapefruit.

Daniel Craig, 007 cross dresses to support equality

2011-03-10T05:11:00.000-08:00

2011-03-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

2011 Azalea Festival

The Valdosta-Lowndes Azalea Festival continues to grow and grow!For the 2011 Azalea Festival, March 12 and 13, 2011 in Drexel Park we will offer fabulous entertainment and activities for the entire family. ALL WITH NO ADMISSION COST!! We will have over 150 vendors with arts and crafts from all over the world, a huge KidZone with inflatable attractions, pony rides and a petting zoo, international food options, a K9 Frisbee chasing act, cloggers, live bands and so much more.

The Azalea Festival is created each year by a dedicated group of local volunteers who meet monthly to organize the details of the event. If you would like to participate on the committee, please contact the Festival Chairman at azaleafestivalvaldosta@mchsi.com.

Be sure to join us for the 11th annual Valdosta-Lowndes Azalea Festival March 12 and 13 in Drexel Park for an exciting event sure to be bigger and better than ever!

This is the cities biggest draw of the year, some 20,000 to 24,000 people over a two day period cities authorities say. This year our chapter of PFLAG has decided we need to get our message out to the good people of this area and I believe this should put best face forward. It is also quite racking and intimidating for me at least for the group. As there are over 150 vendors present, that also means that there is a strong number of other churches and civic groups present. Our point of being there is to bring the problems of bulling and discrimination out of the shadows and make an effort to create discussion. I hope we can maintain the discussion within the framework of 'civil rights' and not spiral into religious name calling. As always I expect the worse reactions from some people, but I will encourage our group members and those who sit with us to maintain our self control. I will encourage our members to greet those who pass our tent but only engage them if they come into our space and tell them our goals of Education, Support and Advocacy for those who ask.

If you are in the area please stop by our table we could sure use the moral support.

Sarah

Surprise

2011-03-04T10:50:00.000-08:00

I have written that Kay and I started WeightWatchers about a year ago, and we have had good success with the program. The program makes you really think about what drives you to eat, especially night time snacking. Well, I have cut out most of the salty snacks and hardly eat sweets anymore. My weight when I started was 233 lbs, I know we shouldn't tell our weight or age however. So, we have been on the program for about a year; this morning when I stepped on the scale I weighted 198.4 lbs. In the last 3 week I would say I lost 10 pounds.

Last December I finally finished my 5 yrs on Tamoxifen, so its been about 3 months now and I have seen a quick drop in weight. My doctor told me that it would be difficult to lose weight when you are taking that drug; but I am very happy with the results of changing my diet, eating habits and being off all hormones. Some one you might not realize that I developed breast cancer after using the weekly estrodal patch at .25 mg every week. With breast cancer I had to stop taking all form of hormones and block what my body was making.

Losing 35 lbs over a years time is quite safe and I should be able to keep it off. I usually don't push products but WeightWatchers it really works!! So, if you need to lose a few pounds go find a group today.

Weeks are never what you ordered

2011-03-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

We have said several times that we never know where our week days will take us. We always try and have a basic plan but by midweek everything seems to be blown out of the water. This was to be the week that will free us from watching Miss Trinity as her mother is finishing up the quarter and will have 2 weeks free herself.

For reasons I will not go into, we need to watch Trinity and her younger brother for the day, unexpected change of plans. That's what family does for each other, we stand with you and hold you up when things get complicated. That's what love is. Family that choose us has a stronger bond than our biological family; sometimes.

We are always enriched when we watch our 'grandchildren' but we have concurred with the old adage, "God knows what he is doing when he gives the younger generation children."

At the end of the day, we will be tired, but very happy and have learned something that our grandchildren have taught us.

documented life

2011-02-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

A few day ago I received a copy of all my fathers 8 mm film that he had shot during his lifetime. There were about 50 rolls and although some were label there were a few that weren’t and my brother made the decision on how to sequence them before he sent them to be converted to a DVD. Two hours of classic family fun it is good to have pictures of your extended family and especially one’s Grandmother. A visual documentation of the changes in one’s childhood and life. Pictures of me as I had just graduated for basic training, going off to my first duty station, leaving for my assignment to Vietnam. Pictures of family reunions in Arkansas with my Aunts and Uncles, of my wedding.

All vivid reminders that life goes on and time waits for no one. I lost my father a few months before his first grandson was born when he was 51 years old from a massive myocardial infarction. After experiencing 2 hearts attacks while he was in the hospital, they could not revive him and he passed away before we could all say goodbye. I lost his fatherly influence and advice, which was both good and sad. He never had to meet me as Sarah, and at the same time his death saved me from his criticisms and his judgement.

My life was shadowed and governed somewhat by the fact that he passed away at 51, and that was my bench mark and my fear in my life. Fear that I would die like him in my early 50’s was the greatest hold on how I decided things. But as I celebrated every year after that barrier, I feared that I would die without having lived truthfully, and I became painfully aware of my need to transition.

So in my late 50’s, my children off on their own I began to explore ‘my feminine side’ as it were. As I turn the magic age of 65 this year, Sarah’s life didn’t go the way I expected it to go. My daughter has returned to her father, we are still working on her brothers (more difficult, I think). Developing breast cancer and transition without hormones is certainly not the path I foresaw for myself, but it’s the one I blazed. I don’t expect too many sisters having to go down that path so it will disappear all to soon.

I am happy and my ex is much happier, my daughter keeps telling me; and my expected years and future life could not be better to live it as Sarah.

Trip to VA

2011-02-24T05:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Kay and I drove down to Gainesville, VA Medical Center for my hearing recheck. Since I had had hearing aids before and they were chewed up by my dog I am in the system and so I just called down to the VA to set up another appointment without going through the VA rep in town. My appointment was for 1 pm and I had been told to be early since there is new construction going on and parking would be difficult.

I didn't even recognize the building as they had put up a new section in from of the older center but we finally found a spot to park and had to go through the basement door. Which was exactly where my appointment was, in the Audiology Department. So we arrived a little early and when checking in, I confused the person at the desk. I need to remember that they have my name in their system as Smith-Riggle, whereas in Tricare it's just S. Riggle.

After filling out their question sheet, I was called back as I handed it back. The Technician took me back to the soundproof room for the test. He was an older gentleman, very kind with a good sense of humor. After the actual test, he had to fit me with new hearing aids and in the process had to make a mold of the ear. He had to squirt some molding material into my ear, and as he was doing that it was a little cold and I said, "I have never had anyone do that to me before!" He said. "Glad that I was the first!" He kept talking about how he hardly treats women with my degree of hearing loss that my hearing loss is similar to most of the men who come through here.

As he was telling me that he would send a letter letting me know when to come back, he said I could bring my partner or significant other if I felt the need. Then he sends me to prothestics to pick up a listening device to aid me in hearing the TV, so I didn't have to turn it up so loud. And that department issued me a 'SoundPlus TV Infrared Listening System'.

I must say that the people who work at the Gainesville VA Medical Center are caring, accepting gracious and happy people. My appointment was at 1 pm, we were walking out the door at 1:17 pm. Kay and I was so shocked at how efficient they are.

It was be a crime to turn the administering of The Department of VA Medical over to private companies. Our Veterans would never get the same treatment. After all, it was on the backs of the sacrifices of our military that we can enjoy the rights and privileges so named in our Constitution.

Orangutan and the Hound

2011-02-16T07:01:00.000-08:00

Orangutan and the Hound

As you watch this video of two 'friends' sharing play and food, think how we can expand our cluster of needful friends that could use our helping hands.

LGBT Presence Visible

2011-02-14T12:58:00.001-08:00

This past weekend was our statewide church meeting in Valdosta, so we didn’t have to travel for this convention. As always members of Integrity, Georgia, that’s the group for the lgbt community, sat up their display of reading material and pictures of previous meetings.

No sooner than I arrived and put my things down when a woman from another church in town practically grabs my arm and drags me over to a rack of card and very excitedly shows me one of them. It is a picture of two mice holding hands, wrapped in coats one with a red scarf and the other mouse with a blue scarf. Both are looking at a starfish on the beach with the sunset in the background. The caption says “Love Transcends Gender”.

I’m thinking “Ok!!” this person knows about me, like she thinks I am the “token trans’ person in her life and she is excited to show me this card. And that’s

ok, because I can see the light of acceptance and joy in her face. Then, I begin to think that since she is so excited to show me something, she must be equally excited telling others about me and what a good and spiritual person I must be, to who will listen. And that’s a very good thing. To have as many people who will tell others about what a good person you are is a good way to let others know that trans people are like normal people. And I am contented in thinking about her enthusiasm for the lgbt community.

Our Integrity table was in a great location this year, right in front of the two sets of doors and in the middle of the room. We are raffling off a quilt in support our future programs as Integrity and Camp Phun, a camp for children who parent is incarcerated and for another Church’s HIV and AIDS ministry. We had a great start for the raffle and it seemed to be one of the big draws for the convention. Also displayed was the processional banner that I had made for our Integrity Chapter, to be used when invited; banners weren’t invited to process this year.

Our presence as the lgbt community family during this year’s conventions has given us the opportunity to stand up a little bit straighter and taller. My presence as one of the out trans folks is not overlooked and as someone said to Kay, there is a lot of people who would come to my aid if someone pointed fingers at me and complained, or tried to harm me. And knowing that, makes me more comfortable being among those called to lead the Church in South Georgia.

Transition is acceptance of one's self

2011-02-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

Kay and I had another video taping session with the professor who is doing a documentary about my transition, and how it has affected my children. We always manage to delve into some issues and questions about my feelings I had as I transitioned. How I managed to remain aloof about some of the dangers I exposed myself to is trying to hide my secret.

Transition is about many steps of acceptance of one's self image and how my image has morphed during the year before and the years after I went full time. There are little things that I can see that happened as my confidence in myself grew. I finally realized that I didn't have to wear everything when I dressed. That it was alright to forgo the slips, the girdles, even the pantyhose. It was alright to wear dresses and skirts that fell below the knees; I eventually realized that I could wear sleeveless dresses that showed my arms. Arms that I thought were too large and fat. Another step of acceptance with my transition was to wear flats as opposed to tennis shoes and heels; oh I gave a lot of my higher heels away after I developed back problems, but I still need my heels. It was a major step for me to go out and about without makeup; that was a little scary as I still haven't be able to afford electrolysis, (too many other important things which drain my bank account).

I have always wanted long hair, which I had for a long time, about 6 years, it all relative folks. When I was growing up I kept my hair short. When I began my transformation to 'Sarah', I confided in my hair stylist what I wanted and why and after years of wearing wigs as my hair grew out, I was finally able to get it cut in a more feminine style. As you can see I got my hair cut shorter over a week ago and have gotten lots of compliments about the new hair do. I did have to go back and have the girl cut more off the back and that really helped with the new shape. I finally learned that if you are not satisfied with a service, or food or whatever; keep returning it or send it back until you are satisfied; after all we paid good money for what we buy and we expect certain standards.

Our standards of who we are to become we created as we transition and should never be compromised if we are determined to forge ahead. But we must re-adjust our horizons every once in a while because our paths of transition is rocky and filled with curves and blocked roads which makes us find new ways to overcome the obstacles we find in our way.

When others see me happy and well adjusted that seem to be more accepting of us; I am speaking of Kay and I now. I have come to realize that for every flaw that I that I find with my body that screams 'MALE', I have noticed the same 'flaws' with some genetically born women.

So listen to a women who had to transition without hormones therapy after developing breast cancer. If I can be happy with the way my life turned out without hormones, you should find it easier in your transition if you are still using hormones.

2011-01-24T08:15:00.000-08:00

I was reading a friends post about the dinner party she gave for some friends and even though she attended her own party in male costume, she had fun with preparations, cleaning, cooking, setting a nice table. Her wife was out of town for a few day but that didn't make her think twice about giving the party.

I think it safe to guess that as all of us transition, we must live in the neither world of genders as we must constantly shift between our two lives. Yesterday Kay and I sat down for another hour of taping for the documentary someone is making about our lives and how the family is dealing with me. As we were talking about how the family dealt with my dressing before my wife filed for divorce, he mentioned that during our previous discussion I would refer to myself in the 'third person' when talking about the years before I 'officially' transitioned. The professor had heard about my cross dressing by 1996, seven years before the divorce and transition.

I had not realized that I was separating that female person from my otherwise chaotic life, she really wasn't Sarah, but that female entity helped me so much in how I dealt with all my emotional issues with gender. When we would have friend over I remember being the one who cleaned the rooms and set the table, making sure we had a nice arrangement of flowers for the centerpiece.

There are guidelines and level that must be achieved, but we are missing the manual that gives direction. We have to learn what works for each of us as we travel down the path of transition; we must make our own way to reach that place of comfort and acceptance.

Unsettled feelings

2011-01-18T15:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went with Kay to a family viewing, at it was in the evening and about 2 hrs away we skipped supper and went on our way. Along about the halfway point, we both had to use the bathroom and we grabbed some snacks for the rest of the journey. As we are traveling in an area of Georgia that can be rather conservative in their thinking and knowing that I am always reserve and quiet, hoping that I am spot on with my appearance.

As we were leaving, a man wearing a leather jacket and large beaded necklace, short hair; sort of a biker type art first glance, opened the door for us and told us to "Have a good evening Ladies" and let us go out first. As I was walking to our car another man passed me and our eyes met and I got a very unsettled feeling. He was a white man simply dressed in a shirt and pants, but when he looked at me it seemed like he was really studying me, carefully looking at the both of us.

I have never felt as uncomfortable around any man as I felt when I looked into his eyes, I was truly frightened and glad we were leaving. I may have over reacted but I was glad the biker guy was still close, I believe he would have come to our aid if anything would have happened. It took me awhile to calm down and tell Kay how I felt about what happened. Just glad we were getting out of town while he was in the store.

Fond Memories

2011-01-12T13:15:00.000-08:00

I had pulled out my high school yearbook from 1964 and was looking at it with Kay. She pointed out a comment that I had not really read close enough, for it said; "Best of luck in the future to a great girl." signed one Larry Ashloch.

In 1964 my father had returned from his assignment in Alaska and was ordered to move to Wichita Falls, Tx in the middle of the school year. And so we made arrangement to come back to get our year books. Since my sister was a grade behind me, I really think that Larry must have thought he was signing her yearbook. I not, maybe he saw the real me!!

Final Thoughts

2011-01-03T08:21:00.000-08:00

Friday 31st December

We have decided that it is time to head toward home and so we sadly say goodby to the good people at the Residence Inn and Memphis heading east. But first making a stop for Kay at a yarn shop. Then we head for Hwy 72 and Chattanooga Tn. For lunch we stop at a wonderful fun place called “Rocking Chair Rest”, filled with wonderful antiques, as we enter we are greeted by a life-size doll dressed as Grand-Paw sitting in an old rocking chair. We ear a lite lunch and are back on the road. After a rather long day of driving we arrive at the Comfort Inn in Chattanooga and settle in. We did buy a bottle of Sparkling Wine to celebrate New Years Eve but the crowd on Beale Street was enough for us, so after eating supper we settle under the covers watching Dick Clark’s New Years Eve Celebration and toast to the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011.

I am optimistic for the New Year, but with the new powers in office, I am afraid things will only get worse for the little people of America. Happy New Year.

Saturday 1st January 2011

We are driving in a strong driving rain storm heading for Atlanta this morning after partaking in a little breakfast. We heard on the news last night of the terrible flooding in Hinesville, Al where we drove thru the afternoon before.

On every long trip it is the little memories that make everything worthwhile. Like driving down Hwy 80 from Montgomery to Selma that was part of the history of the Civil Rights movement. Seeing country that is very different rom what you know, rolling hills, hardwood, forest floors littered with bulging rocks everywhere. Going long distances before seeing a service plaza.

Walking into the Memphis Music Store and dancing with the owner to some good blues music. Watching a father and mother teaching their young daughter to play baseball and about hitting; encouraging the young girl to keep her eye on the ball and hit it to me. Watching the joy on the little girl’s face light up as she does and I catch the ball and dance around giving her a ‘high five’; watching the smiles of her parents and getting a big nod of thank you.

Discovering that the house where Elvis was born was about the same size as the house that WC Handy lived with his wife and 3 children. Learning that WC Handy was blind, I didn’t know that.

It was good to get away for a few days and discover that the places you visited wove into a theme of Civil Rights history, that that was something that evolved and wasn’t what you had set out to do, but just happened. It was good to get home, play with our dogs and sleep in our own beds again. Until next time, The Two Auntees, or should that be Two Grandmothers.

Good night America.

Our Journey continues

2011-01-03T07:31:00.000-08:00

Thursday 30 December

Woke up and dressed late today, so we spent some time at the I-40 Welcome Station on the river in Memphis. While walking along the path by the river lined with maple trees, one could actually smell the maples, from the blanket of leaves and from the trees. Leaving the Welcome Station, we spent the rest of the morning at the Lorraine Motel which is not the Civil Rights Museum. It is a very powerful sight containing the story of our nations civil rights struggle, telling the story of every important person or event that propelled the struggle forward.

As I was watching and listening to the Movie, “The Witness”, told by one of the eye witness who stood on the balcony with Dr. King, just before he was killed. I was struck by the irony that the issues of the day are still being used by the opposing forces keeping others who are not the same as they, under the boot heel of oppression and discrimination. The struggles and issues that African Americans fought to erase from society only shifted toward the LGBT movements and their fight for equal recognition. Now all the anger and frustration is directed toward gay and trans population.

We spent some time at the river front parks and read about Tom Lee, a black man who used his 8 ft skiff to save 32 people when a riverboat capsized. He searched all night to save as many people as he could. Memphis is also about the stories of BB King, W.C. Handy, Elvis Presley, and so many more important figures of the Blues and Rock-N-Roll history.

As we tried to find Handy’s house we ran into roadblocks every where, so we parked our car at the hotel and walked to Beale street, we had noticed band members at the Civil Rights Museum and eventually learned that there was going to be a parade that afternoon. We didn’t learn the parade was for the College Bowl the next day and when we got to Beale street, we saw the mass of people still hanging around at the end of the parade. We eventually realized that the game was between UGA Dogs and UCF Knights. After finding WC Handy’s house and viewing the artifacts, we would be Miss T’s last visitors because she was closing for the pep rally that everyone was gathering for. What a crowd.

After eating at the City Blues Cafe for some more BBQ Ribs, we walked around the city for another couple of hours and turned in for the night.

Friday 31st December

I am optimistic for the New Year, but with the new powers in office, I am afraid things will only get worse for the little people of America. Happy New Year.

Kay and Sarah Journey

2011-01-03T06:03:00.001-08:00

Dec 29, Wednesday

Wednesday morning and we have changed our trip plans. Due to the strong possibilities of bad weather with have thunderstorms settling over New Orleans for the new year, so we have decided to cancel those plans and just see where the road takes us.

We just had to visit Elvis’ birthplace, very small house indeed. One has to pay to enter the museum, video and to attend the church service. We tried to walk into the church, the same church Elvis attended while growing up and we were stopped by someone inside the door asking, “Do yew gotta tiket” and before we can say anything she closes the door.

Getting turned around, we took a long scenic tour of Tupelo and finally got on our way to Oxford. If you haven’t been thru Oxford you will find a quaint old town. We ate at the Ajex Diner which was crowded which told us the place was good home cooking. Oxford, Miss. is William Faulkner’s home town, and there is a book store called “Square Books” with signed photos all over the walls. We are now headed North for other adventures.

Evening 29th December, we ended up in Memphis Tn. after crossing the Arkansas River so that Kay can say she visited that state and can check that one off her list of visited states.

After checking into the Residence Inn, we took a spin on Beale Street Memphis, had supper at the Flying Saucer and listened to some blues at Club 152 for awhile. After walking up and down Beale Street we stopped in for the live show at BB Kings Blues Club to finish the evening with some memphis BBQ wings and Delta Blues.

Families chooses us

2010-12-31T22:25:00.000-08:00

So how do I explain my Christmas and my family doings. As I have explained my mother happened to get sick and was hospitalized. I was told 2 days later and found her sitting up in her chair, having pulled her IV out for the 4th time. Not a good way to see my mother. I as my sister to let me know when she is released from the hospital when I leave. We are waiting for her test results from the cancer markers and as to when she will have the mass drained. And after a few days of thinking things over i can’t let it go by without making some comments.

When I try to visit my mother at the hospital, the staff tells me that she has been released and sent home; my sister has not called to tell me, we go visit her at home. My sister explodes and say that I need to call first to visit with other, no explanations or reason, just that I should call before I visit. The next week we go visit mother and she stops me from saying hello to my mother, almost throws me out, no explanations, no reasons. I ask her why, ask her what is her problem with me. She yells that I kept mother out late and didn’t tell my sister where I was. I ask her when this happened, 1, 2 or 3 years ago; she retorts that I never come by and visit. Now she really doesn’t know how many times Kay and I have visited with my mother; it’s just that she really doesn’t remember who came. I call my sister a ‘bitch’ she retorts she has taught school and has heard worse, I loudly call her a ‘f**king bitch’ several times, she threatens to call police because this is her house, she has guardianship over mother I ask to see the court papers. It gets ugly, mother is in her room, the hospice nurse is sitting at the table and hears all of this. Kay begs me to just leave and I do.

Later I get an email from my brother telling me he is in town, and he's sorry he hasn’t called to let me know. He tells me that mother has just gotten home from having the procedure to drain the mass, no one tells me she is in the hospital, no one calls to tell me they are visiting. After several very informative email from my brother we arrange to visit with my mother again on Monday, after we have delayed our trip 21 day. We have a good visit with my mother, my brother, nephew and evil sister. My brother shows me some pictures of when mother was having her procedure and I see another sister had been visiting that I never knew about. At least I learn that the test didn't suggest cancer. Some family, won’t even call their other sibling who lives in the same town as our mother to let me know they are visiting. I later discover that my oldest sister and her husband have been through town, no call. I also learn that my brother is picking up my youngest sister on Monday afternoon and she will be staying for a week. No call from her.

Now everyone of my siblings have my email, they might not have my phone number; but they have my email..... not one word that they will be in town. I know how everyone feels or thinks about me, or they can’t find the courage to ask, so sad, and to think they all believe themselves to be christians.

We have not been very close and they have had ‘family’ gatherings since I transitioned but come on; how can you live with yourselves. Sometimes our closest families are the ones that chooses us, and those are the families we make memories with. Oh and this is to my brother, I saw you post pictures of my sister and of other visitors with your emails, but after Kay and I visited why did you choose not to show our pictures?

When the family gathers for mother’s funeral, should be very interesting indeed,

Kay and Sarah's Dec Trip

2010-12-28T19:05:00.000-08:00

Kay and Sarah’s Wanderings, Dec 2010

Monday 27th

Had a great visit with my mother, brother Bill and nephew, Izra, and dropped off a bag of goodies for mother, chocolates and other eats. We visited with everyone, as my mother has been ill and seems to be eating and drinking less than she should. We will continued to visit with her after we get back from New Orleans.

We drove on to Montgomery Al and spent the first night on Gunter Air Field in Montgomery, I believe it was an old Army Air Field during the 40’s and 50’d. The room was cheap and very nice, with a small kitchen, queen size bed and bath, room was rather hot and we turned in earlier than we normally do.

Tuesday 28th

We woke up and before we left the air base we visited the Enlisted Memorials as C-47 on display that they had reconfigured and restored as a plane that was important during the Vietnam War. This was a memorial to the plane known as “ Puff, the Magic Dragon” and was renamed “Spooky”, with 3 miniguns that fired 7.62 rounds at 9,000 to 18,000 per minute. It was flown for defensive support for First Air-Cav Division.

We drove West to Selma on US 80 which is known as the Historic Route that Dr. King and the other marchers took on “Bloody Sunday” and later to Montgomery. Kay and I stopped t seed the National Voting Rights Museum and Institute, which displays and chronicles the march in pictures. An older gentleman stopped and chatted with us, telling us that he was in Selma when the march happened and was involved in the events leading up to that Sunday. He was 11 years old and left school early to meet the other picketers at the Church, get their sign and walk in front of the Court House in Selma to protest.

He said “they knew that what we were doing was important, that segregation was wrong, separate schools, bathrooms, lunch counters, water fountain, movie theaters. We were marching for our rights, as young children they knew their rights. They were arrested at 11 am one morning and were loaded into school busses and taken to jail. The Boys were separated from the Girls and were stuffed into several separate cells. They knew a lot of the other young boys and spent most of the time talking. They stayed in the jail cells until the next day when their parents were allowed to sign them out, around 2 pm. The sheriff had a tub of water with a ladle in the jail cell for them all to drink from.”

After our tour of the museum, we had lunch at the Downtowner Restaurant, good home cooking, great cornbread.

Maybe it’s just coincidence but our drive took us through “Lowndes Co” Alabama, and “Lowndes Co.” Mississippi. We had planned to drive thru to Oxford Miss, but because light was fading and time was running out we ended the day in Tupelo, Miss,. We will continue with the telling of the journey tomorrow.

Note, this was the site of the original museum which moved to the other side of the bridge

Wonderful

2010-12-24T07:47:00.001-08:00

Finishing the Old year

2010-12-22T08:41:00.000-08:00

As usual I have started several posting, but have been interrupted each time and have deleted them as there have been a lot of agitation and wonderful exciting things happening before I could finish them.

First, I am finishing my five year program of tamoxifen which I took for my breast cancer this month. I realize just how lucky I have been because I did not have to have chemo or radiation therapy; and all of my reports have been clear. My urology tests are good and we are going to 1 visit a year. Having been doing the Weight Watchers program, I have lost about 27 pounds and have dropped to a size 16; which is about where I will stay, as I am a large girl, broad shoulders and bum. But there is one dress that I have kept and is rather form fitting and make me look slim indeed. The good thing is that Kay has also lost a lot of weight and can now wear the clothes that don’t fit me any more, if the look good on her. We do have similar tastes in clothes, but not shoes, and that’s another story.

We were actually at an Integrity meeting, which is the glbt group of the Episcopal Church, on Saturday when we heard that DADT was repealed and there was a moment of respect followed by loud celebrations. We had arranged for Abby Drew to speak to us as to how to deal with Bulling, Abby is the founder of the Ben Marion Institute for Social Justice, Inc. which she named in honor of her parents at www.benmarioninstitute.org . Her life is an example of how Social Justice can be implemented with quiet presence. The Integrity group is dedicated in promoting acceptance and changes of attitudes for the glbt communities within the Diocese of Georgia and its many congregations.

My mother was hospitalized a few weeks ago and as my sister is the one who has taken on the role of her caretaker as she lives across the street. When I was told that she was in the hospital Kay and I didn’t get the whole story, only that she had lost considerable weight and the doctors had found a 10 cm mass in her abdominal cavity. After leaving in the middle of rehearsal for the Choral Guild’s concert the next day as an emotional mess we arrived at the hospital room to find her sitting in a chair talking and eating. Actually she had pulled out her IV for the 4th time and my sister had not seen her do it. Some of the family will be coming home for Christmas to visit with mother, but that is all I will say about that.

My daughter will spend some time with us on Christmas Day, as she will celebrate with the family on Christmas Eve. So we are excited to spend more time with her and Jason.

Just wishing everyone a Happy Holidays and a Wonderful Christmas.

On another note, Kay and I got up the other night and watched some of the Lunar Eclipse, but only until the moon was covered by the Earth's shadow and Umbra. I took the photo with my Nikon CoolPix P80, they are not a crisp as I would like but you get the idea of the look of the Eclipse.

Kay and Sarah

Our Thanksgiving Day with my Daughter

2010-11-27T20:12:00.001-08:00

Every year we spend Thanksgiving with Kay's family, and since she is an only child most of her parents family has passed on. There are a few who I have come to adore and make it a point to chat with every Thanksgiving. This year the gathering seems to have gotten smaller as children are married and are spending the day with other and new relatives and families. For the past several years we have had our Thanksgiving Dinner at a church hall, but this year we returned to the family home; always lots of food is cooked and expected to be carted away by guests. Enough food for three times the number of people who come.

This year since my daughter was living in town, we invited her to meet Kay's family and eat Thanksgiving Dinner with them. Kay's family lives outside of Nichols, Ga, which is about an hour and a half away and one of those small towns that you could miss if you blinked or yawned. We were told that dinner was going to be served at 12:30 and we were right on time, but as it happens with families, we didn't eat for another hour. As we waited for the family to gather and wander in, they got a chance to meet and chat with my daughter and Kay's step-daughter, Julie. Everyone seemed to like Julie and the son of the host told her that if she was here she is family, which made Julie's day.

She seemed to brighten the room, chatting with everyone and fitting in with the family. Everyone expressed that they enjoyed meeting Julie; and Kay was surprised when one of her relatives made a point to tell Julie how pretty she was, as Kay says that she hardly ever compliments anyone. We don't know what she was expecting Julie to look like as the family knows that I am trans. Julie seem so relaxed and really enjoyed the Thanksgiving Dinner that someone else cooked.

Since Kay's relatives lives in the country, they have quite a lot of goats and some mules that have a large area to roam around in. Julie said that watching the goats brought back many memories of the time that she herded a rather large number of goats for someone for a year. She had a truck with a camper and two shepherd dogs to run the herd. Being able to spend the afternoon with Kay's family really made her day, as she had to eat again with her mother and brothers later that evening.

I am so glad that she was able to see how people react to me in a family gathering, that they know my story and have accepted me as a member Kay's family. I only hope that she can convey that to her brothers. Her one hope is that one day her mother and brothers will sit down to a holiday meal with Kay and I. Miracles can happen, we already know they can when it does for some of us.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

2010-11-27T19:20:00.001-08:00

I snagged this video from Melissa Meanderings who got it from someone else as she posted it on Friday. Tomorrow I will sing the Messiah with a Community Festival Chorus.

Telling Secrets: Time for Civil Disobedience?

2010-11-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

Telling Secrets: Time for Civil Disobedience?

Concert Done

2010-11-21T15:41:00.000-08:00

Saturday night we sang Mozart's Great Mass in "C", 160 voices strong divided into two choirs antiphonally, all the comments were about the great 'sound' of all those voices. College choir, community choir, one high school choir, and one trans woman singing tenor. God!, it was overwhelming the feeling of being among so many voices singing as one.

My daughter was able to join Kay and hear the concert as well, she is one who loves the arts in all it varieties, Opera, Orchestras, Ballets. I could tell by the big smile on her face that she really enjoyed the performance and we had a great discussion as we ate a late night snack together.

As we were making small talk of her life growing up, she made a comment that made me stop. I know I have arrived in my place as Sarah, as she told me that as she was looking at me on stage that I was very pretty, I almost cried. My daughter sees me as 'pretty', of course I was dressed up for the occasion and all, but, I am pretty.