Awakening

I was leaving a thought on 'Barefoot and Laughing' blog and it took my thoughts back to August of 05, to when I discovered the small lump in my right breast. Cancer is a bad animal where ever it bites you and the scars will heal but the pain of enduring the cure will always be with you. Each person who is suddenly confronted with a diagnosis of cancer has their own way of dealing with the monster. But having my church family strong loving support does lift me while putting the cancer in a less important place.
Last Friday was the annual Relay for Life walk. I didn't make a commitment to do the walk this year and let it slip by without much notice until that Friday afternoon. Kay and I have much too much to do before my reconstruction surgery on the 13th of May, which keeps my mind occupied somewhat.
For the last year or so I have sort of retreated to a holding pattern in dealing with my mastectomy and how to compensate for the loss of the breast. I was using a pair of silicone breast forms (DD's) , maybe too big for me I realize now, but they filled the empty place. They were an eye catcher at first, but now I wish I had gotten something smaller; because I feel as though they are like my stuffed bra's I first used when I began to dress. I want my breast to be a part of me again, not something I sling on in the morning and throw off at night. I've said it before, but I waited 50 years for my breasts to develop and just when they were blooming, I loose one to cancer and other one's development because I had to stop taking estrogen, for fear of another bout of cancer.
But reading Barefoot and Laughing's post has made me realize that I have been neglecting my body; that I have forgotten how important it is for us to care for our bodies as much as we care for our souls and for others.
So thank you ever so much for your example of courage and your loving family surrounding you.

So I leave you with a final thought;

Hugs

One simple embracing act

Costs the giver practically nothing

What he/she gets in return

Cannot be measured

Till it’s done

One simple act

Open feelings given

Without attachments

To hold on to someone

Releases the hearts

Most single important

Reason for being touched

Without expectation

Of return

One act so simple

Yet gives each

Who participates

More in returns

Than initial

Investment

SJ Riggle

December 16, 2001