Seasons Joys

Being transgendered gives me new insight into the joys of the seasons, the hope for changes in each one of us; the anticipation, the excitement, the discovery, the fulfillment. With each Christmas Season I find myself more comfortable, more free, more empowered to be the Sarah I have discovered.
This is a time that I use to sit back and examine the wonderful and exciting changes that I have watched happen with me and between Kay and me. We look forward to the coming year and the many occasions that seems appears before us, letting us tell our story to all who ask.
This being the Season of Advent, which is the beginning of a new Church year for us, it is a spiritual renewal as well as a new beginning for me on this path defining my transition and the person that faces new challenges and defining moments. This is my story which is similar but very different to every other Sister faced with the obstacle of whether to transition or remain as they are.
With the Advent season as a preparation time to bring one’s attention to the birth of Christ, it causes me to reflect on the period when I attempted to prepare myself, my ex and my family with what is essentially my new birth. I was struggling to emerge from my chrysalis of an unhappy life filled with conflict between myself and my ex over the secret I was trying so hard to keep. Over the arguments I created with my children to drive them out of the house. This renewing season of the Church year forces me to examine once more the numerous reasons for accepting my true self as Sarah; to recall all the good that is now in my life and be joyful.
As I happily anticipate this time and the celebration of the retelling of the Christmas Story, I contritely and humbly see my life as an object to reflect the light of understanding and hope into the darkness that will be placed before my journey’s path.