Feeling Used, Violated

Something happen today that is quite disturbing and has left me shaken. Yesterday, Kay and I had talked about going to get some tomatoes and canning them because they make the winter soups and sauces so much better tasting. And so we left a little late this morning but was on our way to get our load of tomatoes by 10 am. When we arrived at the little store we discovered that they didn't have a quantity of tomatoes picked, so we headed for the fields and in no time had picked 15 gal of the real ripe sweet tasting tomatoes, we also bought some peppers and 20 lbs of okra. On the way home we took a detour and bought 20 lbs of frozen blackberries, which are huge and make great wine.

When we arrived home, I noticed that the stepladder was standing in our front yard and I made a comment to Kay as to how it might have gotten there. We figured that our painter had returned to scrape the windows, which is the last thing he needed to do so we didn't think any more about the ladder. We hauled the tomatoes, okra, and frozen blackberries to the freezer, I let the dog out and that was when I noticed that things in the back yard had been moved about and someone had mowed the grass. I commented to Kay that the yard had been mowed and we were very puzzled as to whom might have cut the grass. 15 minutes later we get a call from our painters son telling us that his father had told him that we wanted him to cut our lawn again and that he would be coming by to collect his money. We had paid him to mow our lawn a few week ago, when he was helping his father paint the house and that time he cut down two of our ornamental flowers, so I wasn't too pleased with him, but I paid him because he was helping his father.

Now I had never talked to his father about the yard needing mowed, only that he had called to say he would be by sometime this week to finish scraping the windows. So I was a little perturbed that he would mow our grass without being asked or contracted to let him mow. As I had run out of checks I needed to go by the bank to withdraw some money to pay him and do some other errands, as I was leaving, he drives up to get his money. I explain that I did not appreciate that he assumed he could mow our lawn and that I was the one that mowed and took care of our lawn, because it was good exercise for me but I would pay him this time. So he followed me to my bank and I paid him and took care of my other errands. I tell him that I like to mow our yard and that our money is still a little tight we do not have the money to hire someone to care for our lawn full time. Later that afternoon while Kay and I were resting, he calls again and tells me that he has taken our gas can for the lawnmower because the car had run out of gas and he would bring the gas can in the morning. Now I was really pissed, because not only did he take advantage of me by mowing my lawn and assuming I would pay him, he had stolen some gas from me.

The more I thought about what he did to me I began to feel like I was used and violated. He just assumed that we were helpless women and he could take advantage of us. He violated our trust, trespassed on our property and stole our gas, never once asking if he could do any of these things and all the while I think he felt like he was doing us a favor. I don't think I have been more upset about something, about how he took advantage of me. But he knows where we live, that we have an alarm system and two noisy dogs who raises a ruckus when anyone comes near the house. I wonder if this is the way he treats all women, I feel very uneasy when I am around him.