Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Tales of the Lives of the NormalTrans Woman

To Every Reader,

I have been most reticent in adding my comments to this blog. It seems that for the past few weeks when I sit down to write, I get nothing. I can not conjure nor amass enough similar thoughts to string together to compose a paragraph much less some story of interest. My life is much better these days, days of common doings as Kay and I go about our life together living ‘normal lives’.

I can’t possibly realize just how many people know of my past life or that Kay and I are legally married instead of the two ladies people see. But every once in a while I am reminded that people are aware; as last week I saw one of my daughter’s teacher and her family in a local restaurant. As her husband left first, he spoke to me and asked me how I was doing, my daughter’s teacher and her son and friend passed by the table and she gave me a hug, which I didn’t expect, and introduced her son. I told him my name and his mother qualified that they had long conversation with my daughter only last week and said, “You remember J……e, this is her father.” He repeated my name, Sarah, and said it was a pleasure to see me. It really didn’t offend me because I am her father, and will always be known as her father. Although she was very warm and polite in her conversation, and I really did not hear her say the ‘father’ word; Kay only told me after they left what she actually said.

My daughter has returned to my life as she now has a clearer understanding of my choice of life. I will always cherish these times we spend with them and only pray that she will be able to convince her brothers to contact us and renew our relationships with them; but I realize that as of new that appears to have a slim chance of happening. We have had her and her fiancé over for supper several times and have really enjoyed their company and conversation. They are planning on following other education opportunities for her fiancé and will be moving west by next summer. There will always be opportunities for trips and visits in the future.


Keri Renault said...

I can relate. My "partner" and I have been married 14 years, but only the past 18 months as two women. They've been the best years of our relationship.

I don't have issues with children since we never had any. Although the reference to you as your daugther's father made me wince. As you said, you are her father. (Ownership is 9/10's of the law:)

Perhaps "parent" would have been a gentler choice of words. Nice to hear they treated you with kindness nonetheless!

My issues are with birth family. My parents and 6 of 7 siblings don't accept my transiton. But I've learned to accept their non-acceptance. It's their problem, not mine. We agree to disagree and life goes on.

All the best.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your message yesterday. Now I have your correct blog address I will add you to my blogroll with pleasure.

I dont seem to appear on yours yet and I do not know what you need to do on blogger as wordpress is different. Perhaps ask one of your blogger sisters? I hope you can add me soon.

I'll be back soon, but today is a very busy work day OK?
Helen xx

Anonymous said...

I see my blog listed on your blogroll now, thank you so much
helen xx