Friday, December 31, 2010

Families chooses us

So how do I explain my Christmas and my family doings. As I have explained my mother happened to get sick and was hospitalized. I was told 2 days later and found her sitting up in her chair, having pulled her IV out for the 4th time. Not a good way to see my mother. I as my sister to let me know when she is released from the hospital when I leave. We are waiting for her test results from the cancer markers and as to when she will have the mass drained. And after a few days of thinking things over i can’t let it go by without making some comments.

When I try to visit my mother at the hospital, the staff tells me that she has been released and sent home; my sister has not called to tell me, we go visit her at home. My sister explodes and say that I need to call first to visit with other, no explanations or reason, just that I should call before I visit. The next week we go visit mother and she stops me from saying hello to my mother, almost throws me out, no explanations, no reasons. I ask her why, ask her what is her problem with me. She yells that I kept mother out late and didn’t tell my sister where I was. I ask her when this happened, 1, 2 or 3 years ago; she retorts that I never come by and visit. Now she really doesn’t know how many times Kay and I have visited with my mother; it’s just that she really doesn’t remember who came. I call my sister a ‘bitch’ she retorts she has taught school and has heard worse, I loudly call her a ‘f**king bitch’ several times, she threatens to call police because this is her house, she has guardianship over mother I ask to see the court papers. It gets ugly, mother is in her room, the hospice nurse is sitting at the table and hears all of this. Kay begs me to just leave and I do.

Later I get an email from my brother telling me he is in town, and he's sorry he hasn’t called to let me know. He tells me that mother has just gotten home from having the procedure to drain the mass, no one tells me she is in the hospital, no one calls to tell me they are visiting. After several very informative email from my brother we arrange to visit with my mother again on Monday, after we have delayed our trip 21 day. We have a good visit with my mother, my brother, nephew and evil sister. My brother shows me some pictures of when mother was having her procedure and I see another sister had been visiting that I never knew about. At least I learn that the test didn't suggest cancer. Some family, won’t even call their other sibling who lives in the same town as our mother to let me know they are visiting. I later discover that my oldest sister and her husband have been through town, no call. I also learn that my brother is picking up my youngest sister on Monday afternoon and she will be staying for a week. No call from her.

Now everyone of my siblings have my email, they might not have my phone number; but they have my email..... not one word that they will be in town. I know how everyone feels or thinks about me, or they can’t find the courage to ask, so sad, and to think they all believe themselves to be christians.

We have not been very close and they have had ‘family’ gatherings since I transitioned but come on; how can you live with yourselves. Sometimes our closest families are the ones that chooses us, and those are the families we make memories with. Oh and this is to my brother, I saw you post pictures of my sister and of other visitors with your emails, but after Kay and I visited why did you choose not to show our pictures?

When the family gathers for mother’s funeral, should be very interesting indeed,

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Kay and Sarah's Dec Trip

Kay and Sarah’s Wanderings, Dec 2010

Monday 27th

Had a great visit with my mother, brother Bill and nephew, Izra, and dropped off a bag of goodies for mother, chocolates and other eats. We visited with everyone, as my mother has been ill and seems to be eating and drinking less than she should. We will continued to visit with her after we get back from New Orleans.

We drove on to Montgomery Al and spent the first night on Gunter Air Field in Montgomery, I believe it was an old Army Air Field during the 40’s and 50’d. The room was cheap and very nice, with a small kitchen, queen size bed and bath, room was rather hot and we turned in earlier than we normally do.

Tuesday 28th

We woke up and before we left the air base we visited the Enlisted Memorials as C-47 on display that they had reconfigured and restored as a plane that was important during the Vietnam War. This was a memorial to the plane known as “ Puff, the Magic Dragon” and was renamed “Spooky”, with 3 miniguns that fired 7.62 rounds at 9,000 to 18,000 per minute. It was flown for defensive support for First Air-Cav Division.

We drove West to Selma on US 80 which is known as the Historic Route that Dr. King and the other marchers took on “Bloody Sunday” and later to Montgomery. Kay and I stopped t seed the National Voting Rights Museum and Institute, which displays and chronicles the march in pictures. An older gentleman stopped and chatted with us, telling us that he was in Selma when the march happened and was involved in the events leading up to that Sunday. He was 11 years old and left school early to meet the other picketers at the Church, get their sign and walk in front of the Court House in Selma to protest.

He said “they knew that what we were doing was important, that segregation was wrong, separate schools, bathrooms, lunch counters, water fountain, movie theaters. We were marching for our rights, as young children they knew their rights. They were arrested at 11 am one morning and were loaded into school busses and taken to jail. The Boys were separated from the Girls and were stuffed into several separate cells. They knew a lot of the other young boys and spent most of the time talking. They stayed in the jail cells until the next day when their parents were allowed to sign them out, around 2 pm. The sheriff had a tub of water with a ladle in the jail cell for them all to drink from.”

After our tour of the museum, we had lunch at the Downtowner Restaurant, good home cooking, great cornbread.

Maybe it’s just coincidence but our drive took us through “Lowndes Co” Alabama, and “Lowndes Co.” Mississippi. We had planned to drive thru to Oxford Miss, but because light was fading and time was running out we ended the day in Tupelo, Miss,. We will continue with the telling of the journey tomorrow.

Note, this was the site of the original museum which moved to the other side of the bridge

Friday, December 24, 2010

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Finishing the Old year

As usual I have started several posting, but have been interrupted each time and have deleted them as there have been a lot of agitation and wonderful exciting things happening before I could finish them.

First, I am finishing my five year program of tamoxifen which I took for my breast cancer this month. I realize just how lucky I have been because I did not have to have chemo or radiation therapy; and all of my reports have been clear. My urology tests are good and we are going to 1 visit a year. Having been doing the Weight Watchers program, I have lost about 27 pounds and have dropped to a size 16; which is about where I will stay, as I am a large girl, broad shoulders and bum. But there is one dress that I have kept and is rather form fitting and make me look slim indeed. The good thing is that Kay has also lost a lot of weight and can now wear the clothes that don’t fit me any more, if the look good on her. We do have similar tastes in clothes, but not shoes, and that’s another story.

We were actually at an Integrity meeting, which is the glbt group of the Episcopal Church, on Saturday when we heard that DADT was repealed and there was a moment of respect followed by loud celebrations. We had arranged for Abby Drew to speak to us as to how to deal with Bulling, Abby is the founder of the Ben Marion Institute for Social Justice, Inc. which she named in honor of her parents at . Her life is an example of how Social Justice can be implemented with quiet presence. The Integrity group is dedicated in promoting acceptance and changes of attitudes for the glbt communities within the Diocese of Georgia and its many congregations.

My mother was hospitalized a few weeks ago and as my sister is the one who has taken on the role of her caretaker as she lives across the street. When I was told that she was in the hospital Kay and I didn’t get the whole story, only that she had lost considerable weight and the doctors had found a 10 cm mass in her abdominal cavity. After leaving in the middle of rehearsal for the Choral Guild’s concert the next day as an emotional mess we arrived at the hospital room to find her sitting in a chair talking and eating. Actually she had pulled out her IV for the 4th time and my sister had not seen her do it. Some of the family will be coming home for Christmas to visit with mother, but that is all I will say about that.

My daughter will spend some time with us on Christmas Day, as she will celebrate with the family on Christmas Eve. So we are excited to spend more time with her and Jason.

Just wishing everyone a Happy Holidays and a Wonderful Christmas.

On another note, Kay and I got up the other night and watched some of the Lunar Eclipse, but only until the moon was covered by the Earth's shadow and Umbra. I took the photo with my Nikon CoolPix P80, they are not a crisp as I would like but you get the idea of the look of the Eclipse.

Kay and Sarah