Friday, December 23, 2011

What do I do?

I have noticed that my post are on a downward slope this year as to it's numbers, and am thinking what does that mean for me? Looking at the content of some, it also contains more political and expressions of my transition issues.

Don't get me wrong here, as my last post suggests that when issues of family take the front seat in my life and we have a better connection, that is good. It's just that my transition is old news; it's already happen, and without the world of the internet looking in on it. As I transitioned, I didn't know about blogging, or the internet and what it could and would do for me as a trans woman.

I put all my thought down in my Personal Diary Log, if you will. A diary filled with my reactions, personal sadness and joys that I encountered daily. The static telling of my first day discovering secrets of makeup and dressing, my first Make-0ver, the terror of being caught dressed by my children, the joys of sharing a day as Sarah with a dear friend. The factually telling of finding a doctor to prescribe hormones and what I had to do to get medically cleared to get them. The joys of finding Love and our eventual Wedding attended by close family and good friends. The fear and horror of discovering that I had Breast Cancer and my long process of recovery and the pain for the loss of my long awaited symbol of femaleness, the breast.

These personal words can be found in my personal log, disconnected and void of any outside readings or chosen comments by nonexistent readers. You can go back and read my first comment for yourself from February, 19, 2008, that's almost 2 years after my mastectomy and well into my transition, void of any hormones.

There are so many ways that my life has dramatically changed for the better, and not I am just being who I am; living my life to the fullest and loving how it keeps changing. Kay and I keep saying that knowing how things have gotten better within my family, could never have been predicted. So when we pray, we abstain from asking for specifics; we just seek his help and watch where he takes us; takes us to places we never dreamed could happen. And for that, we are Thankful.

1 comment:

Halle said...

when we pray, we abstain from asking for specifics; we just seek his help and watch where he takes us
Your attitude demonstrates true faith in a power that is loving and all-powerful.

When I hear of someone or some group praying for some specific thing to happen, it further convinces me that group or individual does not really 'get it'.