Thursday, February 12, 2009
Validation through Children
On another wonderful outing with some other friends, we all quilt, so we headed to Trenton Florida to a wonderful quilt shop and cafe located in an old Coca Cola Bottling building, where there are over 1000 bolts of material plus books and quilting supplies. There were some amazing quilts on display throughout the building. The two children always seen to find something to occupy themselves and there was a cage with an old African Gray Parrot, named Pretty Boy who would talk and whistle every once-in-a-while. It was an amazing mixture of colors, with old and new patterns. Keeping the children happy and out of trouble was difficult until I took them outside and we explored an old train station platform and depot with signal switch until their mother and Ms. Kay and finished looking.
Another bright spot was to meet our very dear friends for breakfast. That morning they were in court to adopt an older child who had been through some rough years emotionally. But when they saw us walk across the parking lot their mother said they started yelling, “Here comes Auntie Kay and Auntie Sarah!” we were almost knocked down when they ran into our legs to give us a big hug. James just had to sit with Kay and Nick had to sit beside me. Watching the reaction of James to the whole adoption process was an amazing calming experience for him; because he understands that he ‘belongs’ to someone and has a brother who adores him. It was awesome to watch the two boys bond so quickly and accept this new family as his family.
Some weeks have days that are brighter than others. Kay and I recently conducted what has become our annual gender and sex discussion with one of the graduate level Marriage and Sex Therapy classes. Usually Kay and I have sat down a few days before and re-evaluated our relationship, but this year we spoke with the class ‘Off the Cuff’. Our allotted time was for 2.5 hours; and being a graduate level class there were not many students in the room; most were women and one male student who sat directly oppositely us at a large table. Since there happened to be both male to female and female to male and my wife present, we were able to give them a better understanding from both sides of the fence, so to speak. As we finished our part of the class discussion, we did not have as many questions from students as we had had in previous years. Every seemed to be genuinely interested in the discussion by asking very pointed questions. I think that the Professor was quite happy with how it all turned out.
Four happy faces can really bring one back to reality, that Kay and I are loved and adored by these children who only know us as we are. Our reality involves relationships with some children, who only see us and validates us as their Aunties; who gets down on the floor, as difficult as that can be sometimes, to play with them and let them be who they are; children.