There are times and situations in one’s life that make you hit the pause button, if there was a pause or a re-wind to one’s live.
Why is it that adults let prejudice get in the way of relationships with other family members? Having a unpleasant experience involving a sister turn sour and finally realize that she has been hiding her true feelings about me, made for a rather awkward family gathering. Over the past year and a half, several of my uncles have passed away and it was recommended that I not come for fear of upsetting other family members who would be present at the funeral services. So when one of my Uncles passed away last Friday, I had mixed feelings. Kay and I thought that since family was scattered they would arrange for the funeral to take place on Thursday or Friday. His daughter was flying in from California on Sunday and after discussing arrangements with her brother, the funeral was scheduled for Wednesday at 2 pm.
I talked with my Cousin, whom I had never met; told her about myself up front and she seemed to have no problem with my being trans. I really wanted to go despite not really knowing my Uncle very well as I only met him a few times during other funerals. As events turn out, we could not change appointments or arrange for someone to care for our puppies; and since it would mean a day and a half driving time, we called and talked to my nephew to let him know we would not be able to make it to Western Arkansas for my Uncle’s funeral. I could tell by his tone of voice that he obviously had his problems with me; and his responses were short, curt, distanced and a hint of hostility thrown in the mix.
As things turned out the weather turned nasty with the ice and snow storm that blew through the area and everyone lost power on Wednesday; don’t exactly know how much this small town was affected by the storm, but after seeing the reports Kay said she would have Freaked out if she was stranded by the storm.
So all of these rejections from family members were tossed aside with the huge amount of love and hugs and kisses we get from the children who know us from church. There are several families with young children who love to come to Auntie Sarah and Kay’s house as well as children who show us so much affection for us. Last Sunday, a beautiful curly headed girl wanted to say good-bye, so I managed to squat down to tell her to have a good week, and she gave me a huge hug, with a big kiss and to top it off, she threw me a big kiss; which I caught and pulled it into my heart for safe keeping. She thought that was funny, and am glad she didn’t see the tears welling in my eyes.
We are so fortunate to know and be around such small people with such big hearts; who are free of so much of the hateful bigotry that parents and adults spew towards those who seem to be different. Thank goodness that such abounding love and kisses so freely given can cure so much other stuff in one’s heart.