Happy New Year!! How do you assign a value to achievements? A year ago things were good; we spent quality time getting reacquainted with my daughter, we celebrated our first anniversary and we lived out our ordinary lives. This last year Kay and I had several milestones as a lives together grew by leaps and bounds. I invited myself, sort of, to be included in the Universities production of the ‘Vagina Monologues’; which was a huge success. I had people telling me that had seen the production and loved my part. Then we went to New Orleans to see the Major production of ‘V Day to the 10th’, and had a great time with the girls of the Universities production. Then we attended the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta and met some wonderful sisters and courageous young people. I got a great letter of acceptance from my daughter for ‘Father’s’ Day; I still will be called her father regardless. Our relationship with her has blossomed again and for that, I am grateful.
Kay and I helped start a new PFLAG group in town with great success; we only hope that everyone returns for January’s meeting. We have expanded our story telling to a new college class and expect to have several repeat engagements early this year.
But to be able to get my New Year’s Wish fulfilled was more satisfying that anything else. I am speaking of getting breast reconstruction and bi-lateral implants. My new breasts fulfill my childhood dreams of developing into the woman I have become. Of course, having breast cancer destroyed all chances of developing my breast naturally through hormone replacement therapy, so we had to resort to other means. It was especially helpful that my health care provider had to pay for all of my surgeries. They couldn’t discriminate and not pay for the reconstruction and implants just because I developed male breast cancer.
Having been laid off of my job in November of 05, I hadn’t been able to find any work; or get an interview. I have wondered as to why that was; too old, too much education, too much supervisory experience as to intimidate the young people, having debt begin to pile up because I was strapped for income. Was it because I had to use my male name even though I presented female? Too many silent discrimination factors surrounding me block my way for a decent job.
But for the New Year ahead of us, we are looking for new adventures as the Lesbian couple; the two ladies, the two Auntees for the children who know and love us. I we are happy now! I have one more wish, or dream for the new year if you will, that will let me share my love with my wife in new and exciting ways.
I have begun to draw social security and with my half of my retirement, I am paying off my bill and still able to go places and do things with my wife. As the Two Ladies of our Church, we spend our day helping other who needs childcare or a shoulder to lean on, or to create quilts to be sold by the Church Women. Our time gets spread around working for LGBT causes and telling our story to those who listen. Living in the Deep South, we are like small animals chewing our way out from under the hold of the Conservative Christian thinkers, one small bite at a time; changing a few minds here and there as we live our life, openly with integrity.