We traveled to a nearby city last week for Sarah to have her nipple reconstruction done. We checked into surgery around 10 a.m. and we were on our way back to our hotel room by 1:00 p.m. Sarah insisted on stopping for lunch before we went to our room. She did very well post op. The next afternoon we went to the plastic surgeon's office for them to redress her surgical site. I was truly stunned to see the amazing job her surgeon did! Sarah is happy now but I know that when the healing is done she will be even happier.
We both LOVE her plastic surgeon! He is quiet, meticulous with his work and jokes with us a little. His staff is just as wonderful as he is. They are ready to assist you in anyway possible and answer any questions you have. I think Sarah and I both feel like we have been adopted into a family. This has been such a good experience with a really great group of medical people.
We returned home on Thursday and prepared to leave on Friday for a statewide PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbian and Gays......also trans) meeting. We went to fish fry on Friday evening..........unfortunately it was on Saturday evening. Then went to the PFLAG meeting on Saturday (thank goodness it was on that Saturday). We saw lots of old friends and made new ones. The group that put on the conference did a great job.
After the PFLAG meeting, we drove home in a blinding rain and thunderstorm. At times we would get off the expressway and on some back roads because the rain was SO BAD. We finally arrived home safely but exhausted.
The next day we go to church. We are both a little tired from the drive the evening before. There is a potluck lunch after church. There is a new military family who has started going to our church several months ago. The husband had been deployed for several months and the wife was at home pregnant and with a 2 year old daughter. The husband got home just in time for the birth of their newest daughter. They were at church with both girls (who are beautiful). We were in conversation with the mother and she was laughing and saying how shy her oldest little girl is. She said that people will speak to the little girl and she will turn away BUT when she sees Sarah she always gets excited and speaks to her. As they were leaving the little girl had to return, once to sing a song for us and then to blow us a kiss.
In the beginning, some of the adults in our church were worried about the effect Sarah would have on children. Well........ they all love her. We have families and kids visit in our home, usually, weekly. We babysit for some of the kids. We became known last year as the auntees who could put fussy babies to sleep. Some of the families and children have moved away and we miss them terribly but keep in touch with them.
All in all, this has been a great week!!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Marking Anniversaries
I have a difficult time marking major events that happen in my new life. My transitional journey sort of morphed from one stage to the next without any real exact timeline. Looking back over my life there were defined elongated steps, from the time I started wearing my mother high heels whenever I could. Passing through using pieces for sexual gratification, then the jump to going out fully dressed, scared as all shit; then treading the mine field of being Sarah whenever I could squeeze in some time being alone with myself. I would have to say that in March of ’03 when my ex filed for divorce and I moved out by myself, that is my the beginning of my real-life test for Sarah.
Living my life the way I needed to, without outside pressures, was just the freedom I needed to find the real Sarah that I had been trying to hide behind my defensive wall of shame and fear. Remembering important dates has always been difficult for me for some odd reason, but it is easier to remember the time line of my history with breast cancer. Beginning with June 04 when I took my first pill aldactone which would block the testosterone flowing through my body. And then adding the estrogen patch the next month; my body responded quite nicely to the hormone therapy and I was beginning to get very good breast development for the 13 months I used the HRT. When in late August when I noticed a small lump in my right breast and I had a biopsy performed early September 05. With a diagnosis of “invasive ductal breast cancer” I underwent a modified mastectomy in December 05; and 6 weeks of recovery. This was a major anniversary for me!
I talked to two different surgeons about doing breast reconstruction, the first one bowed out because she wasn’t skilled or comfortable doing breast surgery on a male body. The second surgeon was eager to do whatever he thought he could be away with; but because he wouldn’t answer Kay directed medical questions she overrode my eagerness and we walked away. Only after the two years I lived with my breast prosthesis, size “DD” and was eager to resume the search for someone to perform reconstruction did I find Dr. B. Mast.
My initial appointment with Dr. Mast was on February 27, ’08, when we discussed my options and his expectation of what he could offer; we scheduled my first surgery for May 13th, ’08 when he implanted the breast expander and two supporting tissue flaps to support the final implants. With an initial period for healing and then beginning the 10 weekly expansion appointments and ending with a healing time period; it wasn’t’ until September 10, ’08 that the silicone implants were used to replace the tissue expander and for my left breast, so she wouldn’t be left out. So at my first appointment with Dr. Mast, I had gone from having a concave area left by the mastectomy and a good size small “B” breast on the right side to having that same breast on the right with a tissue expander filled with 760CC of saline, and a very unbalanced chest profile after 10 weeks of expansions. When in September, '08, I had a 700 cc silicone implant in my right breast and a 450 cc implant in my left breast; for a quite nice profile; but not the same results if I had had just the breast implants to begin with; and not having had to deal with the breast cancer.
So here I am just 4 days post-op from having had my nipple reconstructed on the 25th of March, ‘09; his initial plan was to create the nipple using additional tissue from another site, but he cut out most of the scar tissue and used sub-tissue from that area to create my nipple. The plan now it to let it heal for 6 months and return to tattoo the aureole; having discussed several options the nurse told us of a woman who had hearts tattooed on her breasts; or maybe a cherry tattoo; who knows my options are endless. Looking back I am so thankful that I found Dr. Mast to do my reconstruction, because he took his time, considered his options and waited patiently for my body to heal between surgeries. With a final appointment sometime in August to do the tattoo, it will be 4 years from finding the small cancerous lump to putting the cherry on the top of my reconstructed breast.
Living my life the way I needed to, without outside pressures, was just the freedom I needed to find the real Sarah that I had been trying to hide behind my defensive wall of shame and fear. Remembering important dates has always been difficult for me for some odd reason, but it is easier to remember the time line of my history with breast cancer. Beginning with June 04 when I took my first pill aldactone which would block the testosterone flowing through my body. And then adding the estrogen patch the next month; my body responded quite nicely to the hormone therapy and I was beginning to get very good breast development for the 13 months I used the HRT. When in late August when I noticed a small lump in my right breast and I had a biopsy performed early September 05. With a diagnosis of “invasive ductal breast cancer” I underwent a modified mastectomy in December 05; and 6 weeks of recovery. This was a major anniversary for me!
I talked to two different surgeons about doing breast reconstruction, the first one bowed out because she wasn’t skilled or comfortable doing breast surgery on a male body. The second surgeon was eager to do whatever he thought he could be away with; but because he wouldn’t answer Kay directed medical questions she overrode my eagerness and we walked away. Only after the two years I lived with my breast prosthesis, size “DD” and was eager to resume the search for someone to perform reconstruction did I find Dr. B. Mast.
My initial appointment with Dr. Mast was on February 27, ’08, when we discussed my options and his expectation of what he could offer; we scheduled my first surgery for May 13th, ’08 when he implanted the breast expander and two supporting tissue flaps to support the final implants. With an initial period for healing and then beginning the 10 weekly expansion appointments and ending with a healing time period; it wasn’t’ until September 10, ’08 that the silicone implants were used to replace the tissue expander and for my left breast, so she wouldn’t be left out. So at my first appointment with Dr. Mast, I had gone from having a concave area left by the mastectomy and a good size small “B” breast on the right side to having that same breast on the right with a tissue expander filled with 760CC of saline, and a very unbalanced chest profile after 10 weeks of expansions. When in September, '08, I had a 700 cc silicone implant in my right breast and a 450 cc implant in my left breast; for a quite nice profile; but not the same results if I had had just the breast implants to begin with; and not having had to deal with the breast cancer.
So here I am just 4 days post-op from having had my nipple reconstructed on the 25th of March, ‘09; his initial plan was to create the nipple using additional tissue from another site, but he cut out most of the scar tissue and used sub-tissue from that area to create my nipple. The plan now it to let it heal for 6 months and return to tattoo the aureole; having discussed several options the nurse told us of a woman who had hearts tattooed on her breasts; or maybe a cherry tattoo; who knows my options are endless. Looking back I am so thankful that I found Dr. Mast to do my reconstruction, because he took his time, considered his options and waited patiently for my body to heal between surgeries. With a final appointment sometime in August to do the tattoo, it will be 4 years from finding the small cancerous lump to putting the cherry on the top of my reconstructed breast.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Auntees Garden
This is a picture of the small plot with onions, cabbage, spinach (picked)planted about a month ago and the tomatoes about two weeks ago.
Last night for supper, we picked some of our spinach leaves because the plants have begun to flower, there was enough to do a small pan. GOOOOOD gracious was it tender and bursting with flavors. Some of the tomato's have begun to put out blossoms, only after two weeks. Garden going great guns, will post pictures next time.
People are like gardens, you have to nourish them, and weed them and prop up the ones who need support to bloom and blossom.
Sarah
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Michelle O. Ain't Got Nuthin on the Auntees
I saw in the news yesterday where Michelle Obama (she is one classy lady) broke ground on an organic garden on the lawns of the White House. I think that is a wonderful idea. Actually, the idea was so good that we had already started our garden.
We made two small garden plots in our back yard. About a month ago, we had gotten spinach, onions and cabbage and planted them. They were coming along slowly. Two weeks ago, Sarah and I went to a Tomato Workshop taught by an organic farmer who has been farming for about 17 years. He was great!! One of his suggestions was to use worm castings (for those of you who may not know that is worm poop) as a fertilizer. We bought some tomato plants and extra worm poop, came home and carefully planted everything using Mr. Farmer's advice. We put worm poop around the plants that had been planted previously. It has been amazing!! The spinach, onions and cabbage that had been growing so slowly seem as though they are in a race. We will eat our first spinach tomorrow. The tomato and pepper plants are coming along nicely too.
Our church has been talking about planting a garden for about a year. You know churches...........they move kinda slow. One of the parishoners who has a tractor plowed up the garden and made bedding rows. Different people brought different plants and the garden was planted this morning. We planted two rows of potatoes, a couple of rows of tomatoes, some peppers, peas, herbs and onions. Sarah and I were both surprised at how quickly the garden was planted!!
Sarah and I had bought a large bag of worm poop for the church garden and we used that this morning while planting. If it works like it did at our home, the garden will look like jack-n'-the-beanstalk. in no time.
The plan for the church garden is for anyone who wants vegetables to help themselves. What we have left over will go to the local soup kitchen.
Sarah and I started putting up vegetables about 2 years ago. I had gotten a lot of experience with this as child. The food is sooooooooo good. Two years ago we picked blackberries at a blackberry farm in a nearby county. We made wine and it was pretty good. We missed the blackberries last year because Sarah kept saying the blackberries were not in yet until they were all gone. That will not happen this year.
I hope everyone gets some good vegetables and fruits this year. I know we will.
We made two small garden plots in our back yard. About a month ago, we had gotten spinach, onions and cabbage and planted them. They were coming along slowly. Two weeks ago, Sarah and I went to a Tomato Workshop taught by an organic farmer who has been farming for about 17 years. He was great!! One of his suggestions was to use worm castings (for those of you who may not know that is worm poop) as a fertilizer. We bought some tomato plants and extra worm poop, came home and carefully planted everything using Mr. Farmer's advice. We put worm poop around the plants that had been planted previously. It has been amazing!! The spinach, onions and cabbage that had been growing so slowly seem as though they are in a race. We will eat our first spinach tomorrow. The tomato and pepper plants are coming along nicely too.
Our church has been talking about planting a garden for about a year. You know churches...........they move kinda slow. One of the parishoners who has a tractor plowed up the garden and made bedding rows. Different people brought different plants and the garden was planted this morning. We planted two rows of potatoes, a couple of rows of tomatoes, some peppers, peas, herbs and onions. Sarah and I were both surprised at how quickly the garden was planted!!
Sarah and I had bought a large bag of worm poop for the church garden and we used that this morning while planting. If it works like it did at our home, the garden will look like jack-n'-the-beanstalk. in no time.
The plan for the church garden is for anyone who wants vegetables to help themselves. What we have left over will go to the local soup kitchen.
Sarah and I started putting up vegetables about 2 years ago. I had gotten a lot of experience with this as child. The food is sooooooooo good. Two years ago we picked blackberries at a blackberry farm in a nearby county. We made wine and it was pretty good. We missed the blackberries last year because Sarah kept saying the blackberries were not in yet until they were all gone. That will not happen this year.
I hope everyone gets some good vegetables and fruits this year. I know we will.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Fight in Gainesville, Fl
This fight over Civil Right for the Citizens of Gainesville, Fl affect all the visitors who come to the city to shop, or for medical treatment. As a Military Veteran, I have to use the Veteran's Administration Hospital in Gainesville, for some of my medical needs. I have been visiting a Doctor quite regularly for my medical needs and I spend money at various stores. If this piece of legislation is passed there will be a direct affect on whether travelers will stop in Gainesville to shop.
Gay and Trans Rights are as important and the same as the Civil Rights guaranteed to all Citizens by the Constitution of the United States of America.
Are gay rights civil rights?
Julian Bond speak at HRC Dinner
Here are a few choice statements from his speech:
When someone asks me, “are gay rights civil rights?” my answer is always, “Of course, they are.” Civil rights are positive legal prerogatives: the right to equal treatment before the law. These are the rights shared by everyone. There is no one in the United States who does not, or should not, enjoy or share in enjoying these rights. Gay and lesbian rights are not special rights in any way. It isn’t “special” to be free from discrimination. It is an ordinary, universal entitlement of citizenship.
People of color ought to be flattered that our movement has provided so much inspiration for others. That, it has been, that our movement has been so widely imitated. That our tactics, our methods, our heroes, our heroines, and even our songs, have been appropriated or served as models for others.
Now, no parallel between movements is exact. African-Americans are the only Americans who were enslaved for more than two centuries and people of color carried the badge of who we are on our faces. But we are far from the only people suffering discrimination; sadly, so do many others. And those others deserve the law’s protection and civil rights too….
Like race, our sexuality isn’t a preference. It is immutable; it is unchangeable. And the constitution protects us against prejudices and discrimination based on immutable differences.
Just like Harvey Milk, Julian Bond could not be a stronger advocate in our fight for dignity and civil rights for all people. Civil Rights to receive the same benefits of other married couples, the civil right to be free from being fired from you job, just because you are gay or trans. It is our civil right to go to the bathroom without being questioned or be placed in physical harm for being who we are.
Any person who considers themselves to be trans is not the person who will stalk children, you probable will not realize that the person in the next stall is trans.
Trying to Rule others by exciting the FEAR factor only complicates the issues.
Here are a few choice statements from his speech:
When someone asks me, “are gay rights civil rights?” my answer is always, “Of course, they are.” Civil rights are positive legal prerogatives: the right to equal treatment before the law. These are the rights shared by everyone. There is no one in the United States who does not, or should not, enjoy or share in enjoying these rights. Gay and lesbian rights are not special rights in any way. It isn’t “special” to be free from discrimination. It is an ordinary, universal entitlement of citizenship.
People of color ought to be flattered that our movement has provided so much inspiration for others. That, it has been, that our movement has been so widely imitated. That our tactics, our methods, our heroes, our heroines, and even our songs, have been appropriated or served as models for others.
Now, no parallel between movements is exact. African-Americans are the only Americans who were enslaved for more than two centuries and people of color carried the badge of who we are on our faces. But we are far from the only people suffering discrimination; sadly, so do many others. And those others deserve the law’s protection and civil rights too….
Like race, our sexuality isn’t a preference. It is immutable; it is unchangeable. And the constitution protects us against prejudices and discrimination based on immutable differences.
Just like Harvey Milk, Julian Bond could not be a stronger advocate in our fight for dignity and civil rights for all people. Civil Rights to receive the same benefits of other married couples, the civil right to be free from being fired from you job, just because you are gay or trans. It is our civil right to go to the bathroom without being questioned or be placed in physical harm for being who we are.
Any person who considers themselves to be trans is not the person who will stalk children, you probable will not realize that the person in the next stall is trans.
Trying to Rule others by exciting the FEAR factor only complicates the issues.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Our Doggies
Those we care for are usually our brothers and sisters, and we, as animal lovers care for our pets, (children, sometimes) with more love than we might give others. Even though they chew up our favorite shoes, or other things, and have learned where the weak places in the fence might be and have become little escape artists, we still are very attached to them. Kay and I had made plans to vacation with friends at their vacation condo in Myrtle Beach, SC and were to leave on Sunday with plans to return on Thursday. Saturday night when we got home from doing our shopping and running errands to get ready to leave Sunday morning, we discovered our smaller dog Molly was sick and had left a few messes that seemed to have a good amount of blood all over the house. We continued to watch her after cleaning up the bloody messes and that night was watching her in bed when she started to throw up, luckily Kay had a towel around her which we used to catch her accident.
We had noticed that a day or so before this happen we had found that she had several accidents that were loose but didn’t think much of it. We had bought some off brand of dog food about the same time all this happened and believe this to be the cause of her illness. Our older dog Maggie has almost stopped eating herself and has been dotting on Molly; and I am concerned about Maggie’s not taking water as she needs or her change in eating habits. Nothing seems to bother Maggie’s stomach, but we have learned not to give certain foods to Molly as she has a very delicate stomach with reactions that are quickly noticed. I should have learned not to change their food, but the brand of dog food we bought was a cheap buy.
They are both pound puppies and have developed quite a strong bond between them. We took Maggie home first after our Church offered a Blessing of the Animals and is a Boston Terrier mix, while Molly is a Rat Terrier mix and two years old from an Animal Shelter in Florida some 70 miles away. Maggie seems to have assumed the role of mother and of the pair. When we have to take one or the other to the Vet, the other will sit on the back of the couch and watch for the other to return. We just had to have a cist taken off of Maggie’s neck two weeks ago and had to watch Molly carefully examine Maggie’s scar and stitches when she got her home. If Maggie hears Molly cry out she will immediately run to her and examine her and then give us this “don’t mess with her, she is mine to care for”, kind of look.
So we won’t leave town until Molly is eating better and is having regular bowel movements again and feeling better; there is time for other trips later this year. We can’t run away for a few days when our ‘puppies’ are sick; that wouldn’t be right and not fair to them.
Monday, March 9, 2009
LGBT and Weddings and Fighting Discrimination
If you are a regular reader of our blog, you know that we are legally married because took advantage of a loophole in the system. Since I hadn’t legally changed my name we applied for a marriage license in our birth names, and walked down our little path in our back yard as two women two years ago and have been very happy ever since. 4 months later I walked into County Court to change my name.
There is a legal battle being fought now in California to protect the marriages of the 18,000 couples who were married and to again extend the rights and privileges of Civil Marriages; we are fighting to keep the rights for civil marriages for all. As I wait with the rest of the world, hoping for the overturn of Prop 8, I reflect on the two recent experiences where Kay and I were asked to join with families and friends as each of the couples celebrated their wedding vows. Our sense of being welcomed at either wedding could not have been more opposite as night and day. It is obvious that it was my Nephew’s wife who insisted that we join them as they said their wedding vows, as she writes in the gift thank-you note, “I am so glad you both were able to make it.” But, I felt almost there was a curtain of angst hanging over us for fear by my sister that we would embarrass the family by interacting with the others guests or if they suddenly knew that I was a trans woman attending this happy gathering with my wife.
On the other hand, being so positively welcomed by Kay’s relative was a steady breeze of fresh air. As the only previous interaction with her family happened to be during times of sadness, I didn’t comprehend the honor it was to be asked to help out at the reception serving the tea and lemonade as part of the family. We saw everyone and got so many thank-yous and hugs; to be given a huge gracious welcome from the bride’s family was the sunshine of acceptance.
Although our marriage is different, we are perceived as a lesbian couple, our world has not come crashing down around our heads, and we are loved by the children who surround us. We haven’t been struck by lightening, or swept away by angry storms winds; the collapsing of the economy CAN NOT be blamed on us---we had nothing to with that!!! Our legal system should carefully weight each argument that is argued before the Court. Every loving couple, every person has the same rights and privileges by married in Civil Court, as it is written in the Constitution of the United States of America.
The complex question is that throughout the United States there seem to be great variance as to what the majority it takes to changes the governing laws in individual states. Is it 51%, or 60%, and why do we allow one vocally loud group to dictate their beliefs to the rest of the community. It is time to stand up and recruit those willing to hear the message of inclusion to fight along side us; because we do not know what will be their next target.
--Martin Neimoller, "First They Came"
English Translation:
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I was not a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
The universe is driven by the complex interaction between three ingredients: matter, energy, and enlightened self-interest.
There is a legal battle being fought now in California to protect the marriages of the 18,000 couples who were married and to again extend the rights and privileges of Civil Marriages; we are fighting to keep the rights for civil marriages for all. As I wait with the rest of the world, hoping for the overturn of Prop 8, I reflect on the two recent experiences where Kay and I were asked to join with families and friends as each of the couples celebrated their wedding vows. Our sense of being welcomed at either wedding could not have been more opposite as night and day. It is obvious that it was my Nephew’s wife who insisted that we join them as they said their wedding vows, as she writes in the gift thank-you note, “I am so glad you both were able to make it.” But, I felt almost there was a curtain of angst hanging over us for fear by my sister that we would embarrass the family by interacting with the others guests or if they suddenly knew that I was a trans woman attending this happy gathering with my wife.
On the other hand, being so positively welcomed by Kay’s relative was a steady breeze of fresh air. As the only previous interaction with her family happened to be during times of sadness, I didn’t comprehend the honor it was to be asked to help out at the reception serving the tea and lemonade as part of the family. We saw everyone and got so many thank-yous and hugs; to be given a huge gracious welcome from the bride’s family was the sunshine of acceptance.
Although our marriage is different, we are perceived as a lesbian couple, our world has not come crashing down around our heads, and we are loved by the children who surround us. We haven’t been struck by lightening, or swept away by angry storms winds; the collapsing of the economy CAN NOT be blamed on us---we had nothing to with that!!! Our legal system should carefully weight each argument that is argued before the Court. Every loving couple, every person has the same rights and privileges by married in Civil Court, as it is written in the Constitution of the United States of America.
The complex question is that throughout the United States there seem to be great variance as to what the majority it takes to changes the governing laws in individual states. Is it 51%, or 60%, and why do we allow one vocally loud group to dictate their beliefs to the rest of the community. It is time to stand up and recruit those willing to hear the message of inclusion to fight along side us; because we do not know what will be their next target.
--Martin Neimoller, "First They Came"
English Translation:
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I was not a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
The universe is driven by the complex interaction between three ingredients: matter, energy, and enlightened self-interest.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Beautiful Wedding, Radical Welcome
Several months ago we had received a save-the-date card for an upcoming wedding in my family (daughter of a first cousin). My cousins had been reminding Sarah and I about the wedding being sure that we would be there. The last time we were together one of the cousins asked if we would mind helping during the reception (this is a family thing as the family usually throws the reception). The aunt of the bride has been emailing us for at least a month letting us know what was going on and where we would be staying while we were there. She wanted us to be sure that we arrived early so that she could be certain we were seated with the family in the church.
The wedding was this past weekend in my home town. The family had made reservations for Sarah and I in a new inn in town. It was a small, new and very beautiful place. The inn is located in a former cow pasture across the road from where I lived as a child. All the cow stuff had been cleaned up long ago and a golf course had been built that surrounds the inn.
We checked in at the inn, rested a little while then got dressed for the wedding. We arrived at the church early as instructed by the cousin. We got hugs from several people and two little ushers took each of us by the arm and whisked us into the church. My cousin came into the church (we were early). We thought we were in the family area but she wanted us closer so she moved us up closer. Other cousins came in and were seated all around. There was whispered greetings from everyone close around.
The music started. A little country western music then the bridesmaids came down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon in D, the Wedding March started and the bride drifted down the aisle on her father's arm. She was stunningly beautiful. When the preacher asked, "who gives this woman," all the bridal attendants, mother, father and a few others answered, "WE DO!" All the words were said, the newly married couple was introduced to the audience and departed the church to rousing a country western song.
We all hurried out to the place the reception was being held. My cousin asked Sarah and I to help serve the drinks. Lots of other family members were helping with serving food or cake or something. We got to see everyone there since everyone needed something to drink. We got lots of hugs and got to see lots of folks we normally don't get to see very often. The mother-of-bride-cousin came through after a while to be sure we stopped serving drinks and got something to eat. We got our food and sat with my aunt and uncle (grandparents of bride). The band started playing and the usual first dances occurred.
This was one of the most diverse crowds you would ever see. People were dressed in everything from formal wear to dressy clothes to jeans, shirts and boots. Everyone was equally welcome. A tall rather large gentleman in jeans and boots hit the dance floor as soon as the all the first dances were completed, he grabbed the bride and was twirling her all over the floor. She was laughing and he was clearly having a fun time. I asked the bride's mother who he was and she replied, "Uncle Dickey (no lie that was his name), the groom's uncle. Uncle Dickey was a great dancer and stayed on the dance floor most of the time. Everyone was dancing with everyone. All of sudden, a little boy about 4 or 5 years old hit the dance floor and really put on a show. Everyone cleared the dance floor and he took over. I knew immediately who his grandfather was.......one of my cousins who loves music and dancing and was known to be the center of attention as a child. A little later I found the little boy's grandfather and we had a long conversation. He was really proud of the grandson but did say that that was the first time he had taken over a dance floor like that. Somehow I doubt it will be the last.
The band announced that it was time that the bride and groom were to leave but they were only pretending to leave for pictures so be sure to come back for more dancing after the pictures. They had really long sparklers they wanted lit as the couple pretended to leave. We were all crowding out trying to get the sparklers lit when we noticed a man with an oxygen tank!! I just knew we were about to light up the sky in that part of the county. Some how we avoided exploding his oxygen tank.......he was as intent on lighting his sparkler as everyone else. The pictures were taken. I lingered outside talking with relatives a little while then went back in. Finally, Sarah and I decided that we were tired and needed to let the younger ones close down the night.
As we were leaving, all the relatives kept telling us how much they appreciated us coming, how much they appreciated the help........thank you, thank you, thank you.
We returned to the inn and Sarah decided we needed a drink in the bar before retiring. I noticed one of my cousin's sons (the father of the little boy who had taken over the dance floor) that had been at the wedding. While I knew his father well, I did not know this young man very well. I had seen him at only a few family events over the years. He smiled at us as we came in. After a few minutes he came over to Sarah and I asked, "which one of you is my relative?" I confessed that it was me. We had a nice long conversation about his little boy and lots of other family. Finally, Sarah and I decided we needed to get some sleep and went up to the room.
We are so lucky to have a loving, caring wonderful family. AND we really had a great time! We are looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve Eve and the ventriloquist act.
The wedding was this past weekend in my home town. The family had made reservations for Sarah and I in a new inn in town. It was a small, new and very beautiful place. The inn is located in a former cow pasture across the road from where I lived as a child. All the cow stuff had been cleaned up long ago and a golf course had been built that surrounds the inn.
We checked in at the inn, rested a little while then got dressed for the wedding. We arrived at the church early as instructed by the cousin. We got hugs from several people and two little ushers took each of us by the arm and whisked us into the church. My cousin came into the church (we were early). We thought we were in the family area but she wanted us closer so she moved us up closer. Other cousins came in and were seated all around. There was whispered greetings from everyone close around.
The music started. A little country western music then the bridesmaids came down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon in D, the Wedding March started and the bride drifted down the aisle on her father's arm. She was stunningly beautiful. When the preacher asked, "who gives this woman," all the bridal attendants, mother, father and a few others answered, "WE DO!" All the words were said, the newly married couple was introduced to the audience and departed the church to rousing a country western song.
We all hurried out to the place the reception was being held. My cousin asked Sarah and I to help serve the drinks. Lots of other family members were helping with serving food or cake or something. We got to see everyone there since everyone needed something to drink. We got lots of hugs and got to see lots of folks we normally don't get to see very often. The mother-of-bride-cousin came through after a while to be sure we stopped serving drinks and got something to eat. We got our food and sat with my aunt and uncle (grandparents of bride). The band started playing and the usual first dances occurred.
This was one of the most diverse crowds you would ever see. People were dressed in everything from formal wear to dressy clothes to jeans, shirts and boots. Everyone was equally welcome. A tall rather large gentleman in jeans and boots hit the dance floor as soon as the all the first dances were completed, he grabbed the bride and was twirling her all over the floor. She was laughing and he was clearly having a fun time. I asked the bride's mother who he was and she replied, "Uncle Dickey (no lie that was his name), the groom's uncle. Uncle Dickey was a great dancer and stayed on the dance floor most of the time. Everyone was dancing with everyone. All of sudden, a little boy about 4 or 5 years old hit the dance floor and really put on a show. Everyone cleared the dance floor and he took over. I knew immediately who his grandfather was.......one of my cousins who loves music and dancing and was known to be the center of attention as a child. A little later I found the little boy's grandfather and we had a long conversation. He was really proud of the grandson but did say that that was the first time he had taken over a dance floor like that. Somehow I doubt it will be the last.
The band announced that it was time that the bride and groom were to leave but they were only pretending to leave for pictures so be sure to come back for more dancing after the pictures. They had really long sparklers they wanted lit as the couple pretended to leave. We were all crowding out trying to get the sparklers lit when we noticed a man with an oxygen tank!! I just knew we were about to light up the sky in that part of the county. Some how we avoided exploding his oxygen tank.......he was as intent on lighting his sparkler as everyone else. The pictures were taken. I lingered outside talking with relatives a little while then went back in. Finally, Sarah and I decided that we were tired and needed to let the younger ones close down the night.
As we were leaving, all the relatives kept telling us how much they appreciated us coming, how much they appreciated the help........thank you, thank you, thank you.
We returned to the inn and Sarah decided we needed a drink in the bar before retiring. I noticed one of my cousin's sons (the father of the little boy who had taken over the dance floor) that had been at the wedding. While I knew his father well, I did not know this young man very well. I had seen him at only a few family events over the years. He smiled at us as we came in. After a few minutes he came over to Sarah and I asked, "which one of you is my relative?" I confessed that it was me. We had a nice long conversation about his little boy and lots of other family. Finally, Sarah and I decided we needed to get some sleep and went up to the room.
We are so lucky to have a loving, caring wonderful family. AND we really had a great time! We are looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve Eve and the ventriloquist act.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Transfiguration Born Again
I read a blog by this Straight Christian woman, that is very thought provoking and she scraped away at the crust of her religion to get to the meat of the question. Her latest scraping are to question what it is to be ‘born again’, about what others expect those changes that happen when a person declares themselves to be ‘born again’. Does it really change how that person treats others, or how he lives according to his religion?
I have often if we are living a ‘Christ-like-Life’ in how we treat others, care for other, support others in their times of needs; why do we have to be ‘born again’? How do we become ‘born again’ when we have always asked Jesus to walk with us, to be in us, to be a member of his body? I would argue that my being ‘born again’ was a result of my reawakening to myself, to be truthful about my ‘being’ when I was ‘Born Again’ out of my despair and anger, and self loathing for my male life. I was ‘born again’ with being transfigured as this Trans Woman person, known as Sarah Jane.
Living my life in the Spirit of Trans Womanhood has energized my spiritual life. As an Episcopalian, I come to the Table of the Lord in a new awakened life waiting to be ‘Reacquainted” with my Lord by partaking in the reenactment of the Last Supper by breaking bread and drinking the wine from those who bless and consecrate our offering. I am ‘born again’ every Sunday when I come to the table of my Lord as this re-born person of Faith and Love that I can now offer joyously without the anger, and self loathing, and hatred that consumed my old life and can now walk in the light that fills my heart and being as Sarah
I have often if we are living a ‘Christ-like-Life’ in how we treat others, care for other, support others in their times of needs; why do we have to be ‘born again’? How do we become ‘born again’ when we have always asked Jesus to walk with us, to be in us, to be a member of his body? I would argue that my being ‘born again’ was a result of my reawakening to myself, to be truthful about my ‘being’ when I was ‘Born Again’ out of my despair and anger, and self loathing for my male life. I was ‘born again’ with being transfigured as this Trans Woman person, known as Sarah Jane.
Living my life in the Spirit of Trans Womanhood has energized my spiritual life. As an Episcopalian, I come to the Table of the Lord in a new awakened life waiting to be ‘Reacquainted” with my Lord by partaking in the reenactment of the Last Supper by breaking bread and drinking the wine from those who bless and consecrate our offering. I am ‘born again’ every Sunday when I come to the table of my Lord as this re-born person of Faith and Love that I can now offer joyously without the anger, and self loathing, and hatred that consumed my old life and can now walk in the light that fills my heart and being as Sarah
Monday, March 2, 2009
Beautiful Wedding, Radical Welcome
Several months ago we had received a save-the-date card for an upcoming wedding in my family (daughter of a first cousin). My cousins had been reminding Sarah and I about the wedding being sure that we would be there. The last time we were together one of the cousins asked if we would mind helping during the reception (this is a family thing as the family usually throws the reception). The aunt of the bride has been emailing us for at least a month letting us know what was going on and where we would be staying while we were there. She wanted us to be sure that we arrived early so that she could be certain we were seated with the family in the church.
The wedding was this past weekend in my home town. The family had made reservations for Sarah and I in a new inn in town. It was a small, new and very beautiful place. The inn is located in a former cow pasture across the road from where I lived as a child. All the cow stuff had been cleaned up long ago and a golf course had been built that surrounds the inn.
We checked in at the inn, rested a little while then got dressed for the wedding. We arrived at the church early as instructed by the cousin. We got hugs from several people and two little ushers took each of us by the arm and whisked us into the church. My cousin came into the church (we were early). We thought we were in the family area but she wanted us closer so she moved us up closer. Other cousins came in and were seated all around. There was whispered greetings from everyone close around.
The music started. A little country western music then the bridesmaids came down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon in D, the Wedding March started and the bride drifted down the aisle on her father's arm. She was stunningly beautiful. When the preacher asked, "who gives this woman," all the bridal attendants, mother, father and a few others answered, "WE DO!" All the words were said, the newly married couple was introduced to the audience and departed the church to rousing a country western song.
We all hurried out to the place the reception was being held. My cousin asked Sarah and I to help serve the drinks. Lots of other family members were helping with serving food or cake or something. We got to see everyone there since everyone needed something to drink. We got lots of hugs and got to see lots of folks we normally don't get to see very often. The mother-of-bride-cousin came through after a while to be sure we stopped serving drinks and got something to eat. We got our food and sat with my aunt and uncle (grandparents of bride). The band started playing and the usual first dances occurred.
This was one of the most diverse crowds you would ever see. People were dressed in everything from formal wear to dressy clothes to jeans, shirts and boots. Everyone was equally welcome. A tall rather large gentleman in jeans and boots hit the dance floor as soon as the all the first dances were completed, he grabbed the bride and was twirling her all over the floor. She was laughing and he was clearly having a fun time. I asked the bride's mother who he was and she replied, "Uncle Dickey (no lie that was his name), the groom's uncle. Uncle Dickey was a great dancer and stayed on the dance floor most of the time. Everyone was dancing with everyone. All of sudden, a little boy about 4 or 5 years old hit the dance floor and really put on a show. Everyone cleared the dance floor and he took over. I knew immediately who his grandfather was.......one of my cousins who loves music and dancing and was known to be the center of attention as a child. A little later I found the little boy's grandfather and we had a long conversation. He was really proud of the grandson but did say that that was the first time he had taken over a dance floor like that. Somehow I doubt it will be the last.
The band announced that it was time that the bride and groom were to leave but they were only pretending to leave for pictures so be sure to come back for more dancing after the pictures. They had really long sparklers they wanted lit as the couple pretended to leave. We were all crowding out trying to get the sparklers lit when we noticed a man with an oxygen tank!! I just knew we were about to light up the sky in that part of the county. Some how we avoided exploding his oxygen tank.......he was as intent on lighting his sparkler as everyone else. The pictures were taken. I lingered outside talking with relatives a little while then went back in. Finally, Sarah and I decided that we were tired and needed to let the younger ones close down the night.
As we were leaving, all the relatives kept telling us how much they appreciated us coming, how much they appreciated the help........thank you, thank you, thank you.
We returned to the inn and Sarah decided we needed a drink in the bar before retiring. I noticed one of my cousin's sons (the father of the little boy who had taken over the dance floor) that had been at the wedding. While I knew his father well, I did not know this young man very well. I had seen him at only a few family events over the years. He smiled at us as we came in. After a few minutes he came over to Sarah and I asked, "which one of you is my relative?" I confessed that it was me. We had a nice long conversation about his little boy and lots of other family. Finally, Sarah and I decided we needed to get some sleep and went up to the room.
We are so lucky to have a loving, caring wonderful family. AND we really had a great time! We are looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve Eve and the ventriloquist act.
The wedding was this past weekend in my home town. The family had made reservations for Sarah and I in a new inn in town. It was a small, new and very beautiful place. The inn is located in a former cow pasture across the road from where I lived as a child. All the cow stuff had been cleaned up long ago and a golf course had been built that surrounds the inn.
We checked in at the inn, rested a little while then got dressed for the wedding. We arrived at the church early as instructed by the cousin. We got hugs from several people and two little ushers took each of us by the arm and whisked us into the church. My cousin came into the church (we were early). We thought we were in the family area but she wanted us closer so she moved us up closer. Other cousins came in and were seated all around. There was whispered greetings from everyone close around.
The music started. A little country western music then the bridesmaids came down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon in D, the Wedding March started and the bride drifted down the aisle on her father's arm. She was stunningly beautiful. When the preacher asked, "who gives this woman," all the bridal attendants, mother, father and a few others answered, "WE DO!" All the words were said, the newly married couple was introduced to the audience and departed the church to rousing a country western song.
We all hurried out to the place the reception was being held. My cousin asked Sarah and I to help serve the drinks. Lots of other family members were helping with serving food or cake or something. We got to see everyone there since everyone needed something to drink. We got lots of hugs and got to see lots of folks we normally don't get to see very often. The mother-of-bride-cousin came through after a while to be sure we stopped serving drinks and got something to eat. We got our food and sat with my aunt and uncle (grandparents of bride). The band started playing and the usual first dances occurred.
This was one of the most diverse crowds you would ever see. People were dressed in everything from formal wear to dressy clothes to jeans, shirts and boots. Everyone was equally welcome. A tall rather large gentleman in jeans and boots hit the dance floor as soon as the all the first dances were completed, he grabbed the bride and was twirling her all over the floor. She was laughing and he was clearly having a fun time. I asked the bride's mother who he was and she replied, "Uncle Dickey (no lie that was his name), the groom's uncle. Uncle Dickey was a great dancer and stayed on the dance floor most of the time. Everyone was dancing with everyone. All of sudden, a little boy about 4 or 5 years old hit the dance floor and really put on a show. Everyone cleared the dance floor and he took over. I knew immediately who his grandfather was.......one of my cousins who loves music and dancing and was known to be the center of attention as a child. A little later I found the little boy's grandfather and we had a long conversation. He was really proud of the grandson but did say that that was the first time he had taken over a dance floor like that. Somehow I doubt it will be the last.
The band announced that it was time that the bride and groom were to leave but they were only pretending to leave for pictures so be sure to come back for more dancing after the pictures. They had really long sparklers they wanted lit as the couple pretended to leave. We were all crowding out trying to get the sparklers lit when we noticed a man with an oxygen tank!! I just knew we were about to light up the sky in that part of the county. Some how we avoided exploding his oxygen tank.......he was as intent on lighting his sparkler as everyone else. The pictures were taken. I lingered outside talking with relatives a little while then went back in. Finally, Sarah and I decided that we were tired and needed to let the younger ones close down the night.
As we were leaving, all the relatives kept telling us how much they appreciated us coming, how much they appreciated the help........thank you, thank you, thank you.
We returned to the inn and Sarah decided we needed a drink in the bar before retiring. I noticed one of my cousin's sons (the father of the little boy who had taken over the dance floor) that had been at the wedding. While I knew his father well, I did not know this young man very well. I had seen him at only a few family events over the years. He smiled at us as we came in. After a few minutes he came over to Sarah and I asked, "which one of you is my relative?" I confessed that it was me. We had a nice long conversation about his little boy and lots of other family. Finally, Sarah and I decided we needed to get some sleep and went up to the room.
We are so lucky to have a loving, caring wonderful family. AND we really had a great time! We are looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve Eve and the ventriloquist act.
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