Being a “T” woman or a trans woman, or just woman is just being who I am. I might think though that my being “T” might give me special powers to put people in a “trance”, or to become “transparent” enough for them to not ‘see’ a trans woman, but to see just a woman. There have been times when my wife had dragged me into stores while I was, shall we say, not at my best appearance, i.e. no make up, once not having shaved that morning, wearing work clothes, and dirty from working in our church garden; all adventures without anyone giving me a second glance or questioning looks. In the past two days we were watching our God Child and her older sister for a few hours and took them to a local park. Of course it was in the middle of the day and the park was full of mothers and grandparents with children. Again I was without make up but had ‘cleaned’ my face extra carefully that morning and no second looks. Since the girls were getting hungry and thirsty we stopped at a Waffle House to grab a bite to eat, there were looks, but it could have been because we had two beautiful children with us.
Yesterday morning I had to have a heart stress done at the hospital in the radiology department, where I knew one woman. I chatted with Richard the tech who inserted the I.V. about having one arm to use and not being able to give blood because I lived in Germany during ’82; and it went of from there about the pleasures of visiting Germany and other countries. Everyone call me Mrs. Riggle and chatted freely with me giving no concerns or clues that they thought I was anyone but female. My wrist band even identified me as a “W” (white) “F” (female); which I thought was an enormous step. After 20 minutes lying in the CT scan I was taken back to another area and was hooked up to the EKG as the tech had to open my blouse, (I had taken off my bra) exposing my new breasts to have the electrodes attached; again we chatted; no facial questioning. The supervising nurse was observing the procedure and noticing my last name asked me if I was L. Riggle (my ex); she was familiar with my last name and that connection. The technician quickly responded that my name was Sarah; and I said that yes, we did have a connection and there was a story; but I did know her ex quite well. I didn’t provide any further information and we went on to other topics. Then that same night (Wed), I had to have a sleep study done because someone told me that I had sleep apnea; who knew…I haven’t had a sound 8 hrs night sleep in a long time. So, here I am in a room with a night vision camera, hooked up to multiple leads, all over my head, face, legs, a strap across my abdomen an one across my chest, something in my nose to monitor my breathing in my nightgown with the expectation of having a good night sleep. I was able to get some sleep, had to go to the bathroom once and was suddenly awakened at 5 am. Spent the whole night with the three technicians assuming I was nothing but female, again without makeup but having cleaned my face before we went to church that night. Simple straight forward assumptions that I was female and nothing more.
As a update, last week Kay and I had met with a Master’s of Sociology class to discuss our journey as a lesbian couple with one partner who transitioned. It seems that that class has further discuss the lgbt issues which is having a good affect in other classes throughout the campus. We are proud that our message of tolerance and acceptance is spreading.
I shall leave you with these thoughts:
Margaret Mead: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
“Our lives are composed of the choices we make, the values we embrace, the crises we experience and the mentors we choose.”
— Larry Greider