Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Relationship/Doctors Appointment

Kay and I have been going to weight watchers to see if we could lose some of our pounds that seems to have appeared on my butt at least. Anyway it’s been 6 weeks now and I have lost 10.6 pounds, I thinks that a very good start for me. When I go to my doctors they keep telling me very loudly that I need to lose some of my weight. We come my next appointment next month my doctor’s should be pleased to see my weight loss; I just need to keep plodding alone steady like, on the weight watching. We have been thinking and talking about joining or finding some program that would help us to lose some pounds. I think that we have found the program for us. Weight Watchers is not really a diet, but a method of looking at what we eat and how much. Just watching the calories, fat and fiber content of food has really changed the way we look at the kinds of foods. Less carbs, more fruits and vegetables and small portion.

Speaking of doctors and exercising, while trying to lose the weight I started a walking program, slow and steady. Well, after 3 weeks my knee started giving me some problems and had swollen up, very painful. So I asked Kay what would be a good doctor to see about my knee and she told me to go to someone at our Hughston Clinic, very good people for sports injuries. Also his office is very efficient. My appointment was for 9 am and I they took me back very quickly, took 4 Xrays, had two exams and was talking about rehab and had scheduled me for my next appointment and had started my appointment schedule for rehab. All within an hour, simply amazing to get a referral from TriCare in 1 minute. While filling out the medical information, I left out one or two medical procedure of the sheet and didn't answer the questions about when was my last period, or pregnancy as that would throw the big red flag that "all is not what it seems". So no, I went to the doctors and didn't let anyone know that I was trans. And not one seemed to notice.

My experience with other doctors are not the same, some appointments with my Primary Care physician usually takes 3 hours of sitting.

I have been thinking about something that Donna Rose mentioned in a previous post to one of her blogs. It appears that her relationship with Elizabeth has come to a rather dubious end.

Relationships, what make a lasting bond between two people who need, who want something from the other. I did begin my first marriage loving that person as only I knew how. Our marriage broke down because we couldn’t talk to each other, because we didn’t know how to face our fears, we didn't know how comfort each other and we lost touch with ourselves. After 35 years of marriage she was the one to pull the plug.

My relationship with Kay is very different, as I know what I failed to pursue to keep our marriage going with my first wife. I have made it a priority to keep communications and expectation out in the open, up front and center if you will. I have found it impossible to keep anything from Kay, she can read my face like a book and is usually right in thinking there is something I have difficulty in talking about, but we sit down and figure it out, bringing it out into the open.

What really was the catalyst for us in digging out our thoughts and feeling about each other only happened when we agreed to talk to a college Marriage and Therapy class about our selves and our relationship. We spent a few night sitting face to face, no distractions and figuring our just where we were with some of the question that we were given to talk about during the class time. We spent a lot of quality time opening up to each and bring out in the open just what we think, and feel, and be on a lot of issues necessary to keep a relationship an open and loving one.

*we have learn to laugh a lot, to touch and cuddle and to say those 3 little words every day and before we go to sleep. Really does work wonders to let the one person you love know how you feel.


Two Auntees said...

Sarah is so sweet. She is right. Talking things over is so important. I've even found that I have made a mistake or two.

Anonymous said...

Well done on the weight loss. Thats a big amount to lose.
You are right communication and really listening / empathising with our partners, indeed many people we know, is a great help in developing and understanding.