Friday, August 27, 2010

Southern Women

My Daughter is Awesome

I have talked about how my daughter and I fought like cats and dogs when she would come home from college and be in Sarah’s way. I was quite put out by her being at the house; but as her father, I was always glad to see her during her summer breaks. She had know about my dressing and was actually the one to talk to her mother about why she was still with me. She recognized that even though I was the one who need to break away from her, I wasn’t going to do anything drastic until I thought or knew that she could live and function independently. It was my daughter to got her mother to file for divorce because she could see we were not happy any more when we were together.

My children took my transition very hard and didn’t speak to me for several years, however, my daughter took the step to get to know Sarah, this person who was her father. She has overcome her feelings that I was guilty of abandonment her and her brother and ‘chose’ this life over her the person she knew to be her father.

Within the last year, my daughter and her fiance have gotten to know Sarah and her news stepmother Kay. She has realized that I needed to accept Sarah as a matter of self survival and that as a person I had not really changed other than I was a woman.

Last night She and Jason spent some time with Kay and I and she explained that as she has gotten to know me, her father, as Sarah and can see how happy both her mother and I have become, she has come to recognized in Sarah all the things she saw and knew her father to be; that I was a caring, nurturing, motherly type who took the time with her brothers and her to make sure they got a chance, as least to do or try whatever they wanted. She remembers going to all the girl and boy scouts events and meeting, the band rehearsal and camping trips, helping with school projects and such. She recognized that I was there changing diapers, and cleaning up after and reading stories and tucking them into bed at night.

She see all those things that her father did for her and her brothers, she see in this person she calls Sarah. We know that I will always be her father and when she and I are around those who knew her and her father I will be know as her dad.

I have come to realize just how insightful, and mature she is in getting to the heart of a matter. I look forward to the day when she and Jason have children and they will get to know us as their grandmothers and we will make sure they can understand what it is to be the “Grand ole Southern Women” we are, and teach our children to speak ‘Southern’ with the best of them.


Halle said...

Sarah, thank you for that story of love and acceptance.


Laura Bennett said...

Great post! The turns in this journey are crazy sometimes. As parents we always think we are the teachers but I have found myself the student to my children time and again. What a happy story! Thx!

Melissa said...

I'm so happy to hear you and your daughter have mended your relationship. I hope that some day you can do the same with her brothers.

Melissa XX