Thoughts after Integrity's Eucharist

It has taken some time for processing the bountiful gifts we received as we volunteered at the Integrity Booth from those who visited and shared their stories of pain and joy. So even though it is late these are my thoughts.

As it is early Tuesday morning, and for whatever reason I can't sleep; I am trying to put together some thoughts about what happened yesterday evening at the Integrity Eucharist.

Maybe it's the beer I had consumed at a late snack with people who have become wonderful friends, maybe it's the excitement of our Church passing the Same Gender Blessings.  Or maybe it's just that I can't settle down because I am so excited and wound up by the evenings events.  It's like I am inside a whirlpool of spiritual waters and wind being tumbled and tossed reaching for the coat tails of those who have gone before us and climbed higher in this cleansing wash.

I feel like I am in one of Rod Sterlings "Twilight" episodes of which I was so enthralled as a youngster.  One of those surreal, yet powerful spiritual happenings.  As Torch Bearers, Kay and I walked on each side of Bishop Mary Glasspool, following Bishop Gene Robinson; escorting them through the lines of Trans people and leading them to the Altar.  At the time for the Gospel reading, we again walked with Deacon Carolyn Woodall giving light and escort for the Gospel Book, followed by Bishop Glasspool sprinkling holy water as we snaked around the overflowing Sagamore ballroom; allowing the people to touch the Book, and again onto the Alter platform to stand behind Deacon Carolyn as she read the Gospel.

All my senses are jangled from being immersed in the Holy Spirit.  Maybe it was just sitting with all the other special VIP who were trans and their  partners in our reserved section.  The group of trans people who were acknowledged by Bishop Gene Robinson at the beginning of his ‘teaching’ sermon.  Maybe it was being asked to serve with the Rev.  Elizabeth Keaton as an Eucharist Minister during communion and being allowed to feed the Blood of Christ to members of the trans community. 

Kay and I continued to feed the Spirit of the Lord to so many who came to the Integrity Table during those 10 day of General Convention; talking and listening and offering hugs and prayers to so many hurting people.  We received more blessing than we gave away and that is not a bad thing.  But it is at the end of the ‘day’ and we must return home to continue to feed the masses who will come to the table.  

Importance of being a transitional Spork

When I was growing up and dealing with my gender differences, I knew where I belonged.  I was accepted and recognized as just on of the guys, when I went to the restroom; when I was out in public I was satisfied to know that I could fit in the male gender 'box'; and everything was 'right' in the world for me.  I took quite a lot of granted; my privileges as a male growing in a society of the White Patriarchal 'ruling' class.  In my life I openly lived is society, I had it pretty good.  Except there was one problem; I knew about my gender identification problems, but refused to confront them.

Why did I not confront my gender question?  I had taken the path of least resistance, to conform and let others tell me what and how I should live my life.  Phew!  The longer one lets something sit and fester, the harder it is to deal with the messes.

Once I started my struggle to climb up the path of transition, I found myself questioning the rules, breaking the rules and becoming more like the confused "Spork" in this picture.  A person having the parts of both and not being comfortable using either facilities.  I would search for single use bathrooms as I was not sure about by 'passing' skills during those early days of transition.  My earlier day would find me flip-floping back and forth during the day; uncomfortable and withdrawn as 'John' and outgoing and a social butterfly as Sarah.  I eventually worn away my 'fork' tines and as those points faded away, I grew into my outgoing butterfly self.

In some way or another, we all find ourselves changing and morphing from one character and person into another; sometimes keeping short points to poke at others and ourselves at the time we needed poking.  There was a time in my life and transition that being a 'spork' worked as a bridge between one world or gender and the other. But now even my 'spork' has had its point worn down so it's just a spoon.  I look like a spoon and am recognized as a spoon which is all I really wanted.  And it fit's; it's who I am.

Opportunities to Listen

The times we spent at Integrity's information booth at convention was a great opportunity to hear amazing stories.  Stories of parental acceptance, of children and adults coming out, being shunned and thrown out of one's home church.  Of sad stories where some people didn't want to know their gay clergy; or church members, and believe they should leave their church.  Stories of wonderful work being done in the pews and in the parks by gay clergy, and trans members.  I quickly realized that each and every one these days at the booth would be very long days for all of us. Beginning our days at 0930 with morning service was one of my favorite morning time of re awakening and gather as a community to worship together.  The day would follow with our assigned times at the booth, where some of us stayed longer than we should just to 'get the work done', and them returning at 10pm that evening for sort of after-action-report of what went well, how to implement changes as they happen. And then walking back to our rooms where to fall into bed and read until we fell asleep, exhausted.

After morning service, I was rearing to get to the booth when the exhibit hall opened, to set up and be 'open for business'. Each day of the exhibit's opening I felt the Holy Spirit fill the hall, giving each of us their task of the day.  One proud mother gladly 'outed' her young son, once her daughter; and described the pain the felt of her child's changing life.  But recognizing the joy and happiness of her son once he transitioned.  Hearing our straight allies beg for material to start Integrity Chapters, to begin the process to become a 'Believe Out Loud' parish to wear that mantra of being a 'gay' church on their signs.

Hearing personal stories of one's brother or sister transitioning and not knowing how to help them feel welcomed and loved by the family; that was our joy.  To be able to share our story and give them web sites places to go and gather information and stories and support that was our joy for being present at the booth.

The TransEpiscopal booth was just behind and adjacent to the Integrity booth, and so while they were working with Deputies on the House floor, I (as a trans woman) was able to greet a lot of supporters and those with questions, searching for answers for most of the early days with the exhibiters.  While they were meeting and telling their stories, I was doing the same as a volunteer with Integrity putting a fact to the issue being debated.

For all trans persons to be recognized and thanked by Bishop Robinson in his address during the Integrity Eucharist; that was the Holy Spirit working in each and everyone of us here in this huge Convention center. That was my gift from convention, a gift I returned without strings attached.

+Gene Robinson 'Teaching'

If you haven't seen or heard the 'teaching' presented by Bishop Gene Robinson at the Integrity's Eucharist, he take the opportunity to give gay's and straight's homework to think about and act on in the years before the next General Convention

Yesterday's News

This convention, our first General Convention gave Kay and I a wonderful opportunity to meet some of the movers and shakers of the Episcopal Church.  On our first few day we had the great privilege to meet and talk with Bishop Christopher from Uganda who was to speak to the United Nations about the crisis in his country.  And then only a few hours later Bishop Barbara Harris came by the Integrity Booth to chat.  Bishop Harris was a part of the Chicago Seven; the first group of women who were ordained as priests in the Episcopal Church.            
                                                                 
                                                              As it is early Tuesday morning after the Integrity's colorful and wonderful Eucharist, and for whatever reason I can't sleep; I am trying to put together some thoughts about what happened yesterday evening at the Integrity Eucharist.

Maybe it's the beer I had consumed at a late snack with people who have become wonderful friends, maybe it's the excitement of our Church passing the Same Gender Blessings.  Or maybe it's just can't settle down because I am so excited and wound up by the evenings events.  It's like I am inside a whirlpool of spiritual waters and wind being tumbled and tossed reaching for the coat tails of those who have climbed higher in this cleansing wash.

I feel like I am in one of Rod Sterlings "Twilight" episodes of which was so enthralled watching when I was younger.  One of those surreal happenings.  As Torch Bearers, Kay and I accompanied Bishop Mary Glasspool, Bishop Gene Robinson and the group of identifying trans people escorting them to the Alter and table.  At the time for the Gospel reading, we again walked with Deacon Carolyn Woodall giving light and escort for the Gospel Book, followed by Bishop Glasspool sprinkling holy water and giving us a generous sprinkling as we snaked around the overflowing hall, allowing the people to touch the Book, as we sang joyously to an African song with drum accompaniment.

This was the Integrity's Eucharist, but the emphasis was on the trans community and their partners. This service was for us, to finally welcome the "T" members of the Church membership; the celebration that was 25 years in the making.
During the closing few day, a stanch group for very conservatives churches walked off the convention floor in the House of the Deputies as they felt the Church had gone too far to the right by approving the same gender blessings; some even resigned.  If you refuse to come to the table, your voice will not be heard and your vote will not be counted when the roll is taken.

The Voice of the GLBT members are here; in strength, in force to be heard and recognized; but now the real work begins.  Now we can go back to our home churches and make real changes, for as Bishop Harris has said; "Just remember, the spirit behind you is larger and greater than the force in front of you."

Welcome to All, we mean ALL

http://m.glaad.org/blog/episcopal-church-votes-include-transgender-people-77th-general-convention

The Church and Crazy Christians.

http://episcopaldigitalnetwork.com/ens/2012/07/07/north-carolina-bishop-michael-curry-preaches-at-convention-eucharist

I was able to catch a quick photo with Bishop Curry, before he was whisked back to the House to vote on the Same Gender Blessings.

A very powerful sermon preached at this mornings Eucharist at General Convention.  Bishop Curry had even the candles rockin'.  What a message for all of us in this Body of Christ; but it was a difficult decision this morning as the Rev Keaton was doing a Baptism in the fountain in the park across the hotel.  A difficult choice, but the music of St. Augustine's Episcopal Church's Steel Band Orchestra of Brooklyn was a very moving experience.  Tomorrows Eucharist should be powerful indeed.  And then there is the Integrity's Eucharist, Monday night which should be powerful in light of bills for Same Gender Blessings passed from the House of Bishops this afternoon.

Attitude of a New Convention

As the Convention gets officially underway, there has been no protesters outside; too hot for one.  Have been humbled by the intense voicing of the young people in favor of all inclusions.  Delighted to watch older couples take the buttons so quickly and clipping them on their name cards.  Have been tired today so I rested some and reflected on past events of the last few months; and am still dealing with the personal losses, but am lifted by the positive attitudes I have heard and seen by members of the delegates.

#gc77 What an amazing time it is for us (Kay and Sarah) here at General Convention; here we are standing with +Gene Robinson a short time after we view "Out of the Box," and His film, "Live Free or Die" both are very powerful videos that everyone must see.  We are a little bit 'wilted' as it was after 10pm and a full day for us at the Booth.  To see the movie for trans inclusion was a powerful testament of these courageous people forging their own path to acceptance and being stars shining bright on a hill top for all to see; a great example of courage and truth.  Bishop Christopher of Uganda was there and gave a powerful message of his work.  Wonderful person of God with a kind heart and wonderful sense of humor.

However strong that video is and the strength of each one of those personal examples are for the trans church; there is a greater number of trans people who have been, and still are; doing the work of telling our stories, of being 'out' and proud of who we are; who's light of truth shines from the hill top for our own communities and in out part of our church's reach.  We have accepted the role of being the face for trans community in our own way; some bad and a lot of good.  Everyone in the Diocese of Georgia has been exposed to us, be to by meeting with ECW, Integrity, our local Diocesan convention and trainings. Our involvement of one in any fashion will get to meet and interact with the other; as where one is invited they get a "twofer one' experience.  Mainly because we only have chosen to have one car.  And if we do 'a little traveling by wandering the country' we both go.

Our presence at the Integrity Booth has been nothing but humbling; exciting, encouraging and somewhat life changing for some who come to chat and take our buttons and get our free "hugs"; Gladly given and Gladly received.  I have seen our Bishop Benshase, Rev. Tar "d', Rev. Lonnie Lacy, Rev. Frank Lougue, and Molly Stevenson to name a few.  But I have also been in the shadow of Greatness of Bishop Barbara Harris, and Bishop Christopher of Uganda and have met face to face some wonderful facebook people we follow with their blogs.

Every evening we get together and do afteraction report of the day's activities which help greatly keeping us up to date.  Kay will set me up with a 'twitter account' tomorrow' which might help keep us up to date.

The first discussion concerning the Inclusions of Trans' will take place this afternoon at 2 pm, and I plan to take my video camera for some discussions that will take place.

That's all the news for today from the floor and booth of the General Convention 77. Peace y'all and good night!