Sunday, July 22, 2012
Importance of being a transitional Spork
Why did I not confront my gender question? I had taken the path of least resistance, to conform and let others tell me what and how I should live my life. Phew! The longer one lets something sit and fester, the harder it is to deal with the messes.
Once I started my struggle to climb up the path of transition, I found myself questioning the rules, breaking the rules and becoming more like the confused "Spork" in this picture. A person having the parts of both and not being comfortable using either facilities. I would search for single use bathrooms as I was not sure about by 'passing' skills during those early days of transition. My earlier day would find me flip-floping back and forth during the day; uncomfortable and withdrawn as 'John' and outgoing and a social butterfly as Sarah. I eventually worn away my 'fork' tines and as those points faded away, I grew into my outgoing butterfly self.
In some way or another, we all find ourselves changing and morphing from one character and person into another; sometimes keeping short points to poke at others and ourselves at the time we needed poking. There was a time in my life and transition that being a 'spork' worked as a bridge between one world or gender and the other. But now even my 'spork' has had its point worn down so it's just a spoon. I look like a spoon and am recognized as a spoon which is all I really wanted. And it fit's; it's who I am.