Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Marriage Equality

When Sarah and I go out or are seen together frequently, many people assume that we are sisters or friends. Very few people who do not know us do not assume we are a couple and even fewer assume we are a legally married couple.

After Sarah's Saturday performance in South Pacific, the cast, spouses and significant others were invited to one of the cast members home. The couple is a very charming same sex couple. The food was great and the company delightful.

Sarah and I had spent the two previous nights either sitting at the table with or talking with one of the men in the play. He tends to be a little loud and overly positive that he is always right. I bumped into him and his girl friend at the Saturday night party. He turned to his gf and said, "this is Kay, Sarah's mother." I said, mmmmmmmmm, no." He then said, "this is Sarah's sister." I said, "mmmmmmmm, NO. Actually, I am Sarah's wife." His gf said, "Good For You!" About the time she had gotten this out of her mouth, he said, "no, her partner." Me, "no, I'm her wife, we are legally married." Then he asked, "where did you get married?" I told him "our back yard." I think he expected me to say one of the states that allows same sex marriage.

I turned to the gf and asked if she knew our history. I knew that she must because she belongs to one of the other episcopal churches in town. She said "sort of." So I told that Sarah was transgender and before Sarah made any legal changes to her name or gender status we had gotten married and were very happy. She said, "I had known part of your story but didn't know all of it. I am very happy for the two of you." A very gracious lady..............I hope she finds a better boyfriend.

The next day after the matinee play some of the group wanted to go out to eat again. Sarah and I really enjoy this group so we joined them again. There are a large number of LGBT's in this group. Sarah told them about my encouter with Mr. Know It All the night before. They just shook their heads but it opened the door to a discussion of same sex marriage. Several of the men who are gay said that they had been married to women in past. One of the guys said that he had been married before and I didn't really understand what he said. I asked, "you" and he said, "yes." He went to say that at that time that is what you did. He seems to be somewhere around my age and he was right. What other choice was there. People were not allowed to exhibit any kind of behavior that might make people think they were gay. I felt very sad, not only for the man who talking but all the other people who were trapped into limited choices.

I hope we continue to move forward with Marriage Equality so that everyone has the choice to be in a relationship with someone who is their true heart's desire.

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