This is my response to 'amberfireinus's' blog posting “there are no rulebook”.
When Kay's cousin passed away a few years ago, I was the outsider observing the dynamics between two very opposite thinking family groups. One family group was left with a legacy of anger and hate and intolerance of others who were different. The other family group generously showed acceptance and love of other and those who were different accepting me as a welcomed family member. They also had a son who was gay and his long time partner came in support of him. So here the both of us were, a gay and a trans, standing outside the church in support of our partners; taking the time to getting to know each other while the funeral services were being conducted. Mike rode with his partner’s family and I drove Kay to the cemetery.
Again, Mike and I stood together chatting some distance away from the family members during the interment ceremony and then mingled with the rest of the family members afterwards. I later heard that the son of the deceased was furious and loudly protested our presence at the grave site.
Not a single member of the deceased family came over to speak to us later. But several family members of the other family group welcomed me to the family and commented that they had never seen Kay so happy, and I had better do nothing to hurt her. We spent some time with Kay cousin's and family afterwards and then we drove home.
I have seen the deceased family dynamics crumble and leave a trail of anger and hate heaped on her children.
There might not be any rulebooks and guide showing us how to live; or live in community with others but over time we have figured out that treating our neighbors as ourselves leaves a trail of hope and love and inclusiveness. We were shown how to love those who have been tossed aside knowing that they are as much a full member in the body of Christ as anyone could be.