Friday, June 13, 2008

No Rulebooks

This is my response to 'amberfireinus's' blog posting “there are no rulebook”.

When Kay's cousin passed away a few years ago, I was the outsider observing the dynamics between two very opposite thinking family groups. One family group was left with a legacy of anger and hate and intolerance of others who were different. The other family group generously showed acceptance and love of other and those who were different accepting me as a welcomed family member. They also had a son who was gay and his long time partner came in support of him. So here the both of us were, a gay and a trans, standing outside the church in support of our partners; taking the time to getting to know each other while the funeral services were being conducted. Mike rode with his partner’s family and I drove Kay to the cemetery.

Again, Mike and I stood together chatting some distance away from the family members during the interment ceremony and then mingled with the rest of the family members afterwards. I later heard that the son of the deceased was furious and loudly protested our presence at the grave site.

Not a single member of the deceased family came over to speak to us later. But several family members of the other family group welcomed me to the family and commented that they had never seen Kay so happy, and I had better do nothing to hurt her. We spent some time with Kay cousin's and family afterwards and then we drove home.

I have seen the deceased family dynamics crumble and leave a trail of anger and hate heaped on her children.

There might not be any rulebooks and guide showing us how to live; or live in community with others but over time we have figured out that treating our neighbors as ourselves leaves a trail of hope and love and inclusiveness. We were shown how to love those who have been tossed aside knowing that they are as much a full member in the body of Christ as anyone could be.


Anonymous said...


Just had a visit to your lovely website. Thank you for your comment. How tragic that people couldnt accept you and your love for one another. Its sad.

How did you come across my blog? Its always interesting to meet new blog friends.



Cryptic Muse said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Please be assured that I am not issuing any demands. My commentary is a call to reason, and I welcome any rational critiques that can help guide a conversation on the subject.

At the risk of drawing your ire a second time, I will reiterate my point: gender identity, by definition, has to do with a person's own sense of identification. It is a self-concept, and consequently, something that is internal, dynamic and evolving.

It isn't anything like sexual orientation, and on the contrary, is rather nuanced. In actual fact, transgender identity exists on a continuum that includes those who might have a sense of dual gender. They express distinctly masculine or feminine behavior depending on context. And many who display gender identity disorder in childhood – 88 percent, according to one study by the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto – do not exhibit the condition when they're older.

From this, at least one thing is clear: gender identity may well be fluid, and if it is so, no treatments ought to cause irreversible damage.

Since hormonal therapy has this undesirable effect, it must not be prescribed for children who can hardly be expected to grasp a mental state so many adults can't wrap their heads around.

I do not stand in opposition to sex reassignment therapy. As adults, I believe we're all entitled to happiness, whatever form it might take.

Just spare the 7-year-olds! That's all I'm saying.

Two Auntees said...
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