Monday, September 15, 2008

Forgiveness Then What

I have been doing some soul searching lately. After all the turmoil in our church earlier in the year, I was emotionally bruised and angry. Finally, after much prayer, I was able to pronounce forgiveness for those causing the commotion. Earlier this week I read Debra Haffner's blog which gave me more perspective. Then this past Sunday's lessons were on forgiveness. What is going on? Why are these things popping up in front of me? Obviously, there is more to all this for me.

I think I have discovered what is bothering me. Once you forgive some one, you must find a way forward and my way forward is being hampered by the knowledge that certain behavior is unlikely to change for some of the individuals involved in the ruckus. Past experience, not only in our case but others as well, can bring this disruptive behavior back into play for some of these individuals. So my question is, "how do I go forward from this point? Does forgiveness imply trust, especially when the behavior seems to present a pattern?

No, I'm not a child. Yes, I have been in situations before when trusts have been violated and was able to deal with it effectively. I think the problem for me is that it happened in church and that is making it a little more difficult for me.

1 comment:

Grandmère Mimi said...

Two Auntees, it's hard. I know. I've had to forgive bad things that were done to me, although I have never been pushed to the margins in my life in the manner that you have.

My only answer is seventy times seven, forgive them again. That does not mean that you are not to have boundaries and that you must accept all bad behavior that comes your way.

For me, unforgiveness is not an option. When I cling to it, I poison myself.

Thanks for talking about this. There was someone whom I needed to forgive.