In waiting for my surgery tomorrow morning, I have found my emotions to be in a light fog. There are tasks and things I should be doing which would help keep my mind occupied, but I can’t bring myself to doing them. So here I sit with butterflies and scrambled nerves. The sum total of my experiences with hospitals and with being put under anesthesia has been for the breast cancer surgeries. For my biopsy and the mastectomy I was a little anxious but I was more mad and angry at my body because it turned against me than being afraid of the surgery. There was hardly any lingering pain from the biopsy; while waiting for my results I also had to schedule and wait for the mastectomy. I have read where the hospital can get results of the biopsy quickly back to the doctor in order to go ahead and do the follow up surgery while you are still of the table. That would most certainly be the less expensive route for insurances purposes.
For the next three years I just tried to adapt with my prosthesis; which was a great substitute for the breasts, but the thrill of wearing “dd”s slowly wore off. So when I finally found the plastic surgeon who agreed to do my reconstruction and augmentation I was ecstatic and was very excited to go under the knife. But this final surgery involves more body tissue than ever before; and while I found that I could help Kay with my recovery after the mastectomy, that surgery only involved the one side with my weakened arm.
I am not one to lie around very much, which means that I will try and do more than I could or that I should after this surgery. But I have Kay who will help me get around; can't beat a personal nurse to look after you.